Tory's Last Day of Preschool (2015-2016)

Tory finished another year of preschool at the end of May. Our sweet girl had a great year -- one of much growth in physical, emotional and social development. I think we both felt a bit sad to see such a positive experience come to an close.

This was Tory's third year attending preschool in this particular school building, and her second year in Ms. Janna's class. It's become a consistent part of our weekly schedule, and a familiar place to see friends. Next year, she'll attend preschool in a different school district with a new instructor, new classmates and double the amount of school hours. She'll have the chance to experience new things there, but we'll always remember the memories we made in this particular ECFE program.

First day of preschool (September 2015) // Last day of preschool (May 2016)

Andi and I made the decision to enroll Tory in a second year of Ms. Janna's 3-4 year old preschool class (vs. a class that meets more days/week geared toward 4-5 year olds), and it proved to be wise decision. Tory met (and in some areas exceeded) expectations academically, and being one of the older kids in her class this past year gave her the confidence to handle rules, routines and transitions with ease.

I've seen the greatest change in Tory's literacy and math skills this academic year. She is able to identify and name all uppercase and lowercase letters, and is beginning to produce sounds for about half of the letters in the alphabet. She is also starting to understand that a sequence of letters represents a sequence of spoken sounds. Once she masters that, she'll be ready for early reading! It boggles my mind to think we have a child who'll be able to read in the near future.

Tory's made dramatic improvements in writing her first name this school year. She correctly holds her pencil with a three-point grip and can proficiently use a scissors. I never want to forget the way she writes her name (Tory) and my name (Mom) on every drawing or assignment she creates. They're the two words she knows how to spell by heart, and a simple way my baby girl shows me she's growing up.

Her imagination is blossoming, and now she'll draw detailed pictures of people doing their favorite activities (fishing at the cabin, watching fireworks) and hearts and stars to show her adoration.

One skill that surprised me recently is Tory's ability to quickly identify a group of 1-5 objects in a sequence. At first glance, she can look at five dots in a row and tell you there's five dots there without counting them individually. Doesn't that seem like something a big kid would be able to do? It's evident how much she's growing into one.

Tory's preschool class was filled with boys this year (8 boys; 5 girls), and two of her favorite friends were Mohamed and Abel. It was a bit of a harmless love triangle, really; Mohamed adored Tory and always asked to sit on the carpet square next to her at Circle Time. Tory seemed to gravitate toward Abel though, and often talked about playing shark Legos and dinosaurs with him. Fortunately, we have play dates with our ECFE class scheduled this summer because I'd be sad to see these friendships fade after the school year ended.

Tory and her friend Mohamed (who's 9 months younger, by the way. Look what a peanut she is compared to her classmates!)

Tory with her teachers and certificate of class completion

Tory is eligible to attend kindergarten next year (2016-2017 school year), but after much deliberation Andi and I decided to enroll her in a pre-K program four mornings/week. She makes the age cut-off by one day which would make her one of the youngest children in her grade. I'm very confident in her skills academically, but I think another year of preschool will give Tory a boost in social and emotional development. Besides, what's the rush? Let them be little.

Until then, bring on the summer fun! 

Tory's Day for Sharing

Tory's an extrovert, just like her mama. She's energized by the company of others, and thrives in social settings where she can show off her leadership skills and gift of gab. That's not to say she might change over time, but right now she loves the stimulus and interaction activities like pre-school provide.

The minute we're buckled into the car after I pick Tory up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she sighs and says "So, Mom, I wasn't the leader today." It just kills her not to be first; to sit back and let someone else take the lead when she'd rather be the one in charge. I totally get it because I'm exactly the same way. And, frankly, so is her dad. So, every single Tuesday/Thursday I smile back at Tory in my rear-view mirror and say, "Ah, man, that's a bummer. Everyone deserves to have a turn though and yours will be coming up soon, I promise."

This week it was Tory's turn to bring her class' Share Bag, and she was so excited. Ms. Janna handed the bag to Tory at the end of class last Thursday with instructions to complete the enclosed questionnaire and bring it back the following week. Tory's had her share item picked out for a while now and later at home, we sat down to complete the Share Bag questionnaire together (I wrote down Tory's words exactly):

What did you choose to bring?
A horse.

Where did you get it?
I got it from my friend Ashley who lives in Kentucky.

What do you want to tell the class about it?
This horse is very special to me. She gave it to me when we went to ride horses in Kentucky. I loved it! Ashley is my best friend.

Isn't parenting the best sometimes? Seeing Tory so excited about something so simple and sweet melted my heart into a pile of parenting mush.

Yesterday (Tuesday) was finally Share Bag Day. Tory woke me up at 3:30am to say, "I'm not tired anymore. When is nighttime over? Today is Share Bag Day!" She never did go back to sleep, and laid next to me in bed chat-chat-chatting my ear off from 3:30am-6:30am. (Luckily, Andi was traveling so I just let her binge on episodes of Octonauts and snoozed on/off beside her.)

Tory was a ball of energy all morning, and adorably practiced her Share Bag speech throughout breakfast.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stay through Tory's Share Bag presentation to the class but you better believe she filled me in on every juicy detail after school.

Me: "Ahhhh, Tory! How did your Share Bag go?

Tory: (*shrugs shoulders*) "Uh, pretty good!"

Me: "Was your class so excited?! What did they say?"

Tory: "Wow."

Huh, that was it I guess. Sounds like Tory's first Share Bag Day was a big success, and the best - and most important part - is Tory was so happy.

Tory's First Day of Preschool (2015-2016)

'Tis the season; it's back to school time!

Tory is enrolled in a two-day preschool program again this year. In fact, it's the same classroom and the same teacher she had last year. While many of Tory's peers moved on to various three day/week programs, I stood firmly in my decision to keep Tory in this program for another year. This was for a couple of reasons:

1) First, Tory has a late August birthday which means last year (and the year before that), she was the very youngest kid in her classroom. Some of the students were almost an entire year older than she was, and it was evident by their physical differences in size, large motor skills (like knowing how to skip or pedal a bicycle, for example), and in their willingness to separate from their parents during class how immature she was. Yet, there were many other ways Tory was on par or more advanced than her classmates.

This year, I wanted Tory to have the opportunity to be one of the older kids in her classroom; to truly see where she fit in best. This year's experience will help Andi and I decide if we should send Tory to kindergarten next year as a young five-year-old, or wait two more years and enroll her as a young six-year-old. Tory loves this school and her classroom so I know, if nothing else, she'll excel in an environment where she feels safe and supported.

2) Selfishly, my second reason for enrolling Tory in the same two day/week preschool program is to keep our family's extracurricular commitments to a minimum. Our days together in the official "pre-schooling" years are fleeting, and I want to spend as much time at home with Tory as possible. Over the course of the year, Tory and Aden participate in gymnastics, music, swimming, play dates with friends, and trips to the cabin where they play and explore outdoors so I think it's safe to say, their learning environment is far from limited to the experiences she (or someday, he) have in school.

So! As I said, my mind was fairly made up to keep Tory in the same two day/week preschool program this year. Tory has the same teacher, Ms. Janna, and she couldn't wait to go back to school this fall to see her. All I heard for the weeks leading up to school starting again was, "Is it fall-time? How many more days until I get to see Ms. Janna?" My girl was beyond excited.

And, I have to admit, if felt pretty awesome (for both Tory and I) to march into the preschool building on that bright and sunny September morning and see a familiar classroom and a welcoming face.

       
Of course, all the children in Tory's class are new this year so that makes this school year different than last year. The curriculum is the same, but I'm not worried about it being too boring for her because kids love knowing what to expect (at least Tory does). Tory's teacher already committed to tailoring the preschool lessons to Tory's skill level, so she won't be repeating the same instruction all over again. It's not like she was some sort of expert of the alphabet at four-years-old anyway! So far (one week into the school year!), it's smooth sailing. Hallelujah for easy-breezy beginnings!

Tory's Last Day of Preschool (2014-2015)

It's Tory's last day of preschool today, and I can hardly believe it! She's grown leaps and bounds since school began last September. I'm amazed by her physical changes (I totally get why every parent under the sun takes those "first day / last day" comparison photos), and I'm even more impressed by her social and intellectual maturity over the last year.

First day of preschool (September 2014) vs.  Last day of preschool (May 2015)

And, one more comparison for good measure. Not much has changed in a school year, right? 

Days like today cause me to step back and reflect how fast time flies as a parent. I guess the old adage "the days are long, but the years are short" rings true. Yesterday was a particularly long day in parenting, and I found myself willing the clock to move faster on more than one occasion. And then there's days like today when I stop in awe of these two incredible kids of mine, and wonder how it's possible they're growing up so quickly. 

It's incredible to see how much Tory's mentally developed this school year. She had some ups and downs -- namely, bouts of separation anxiety -- but worked to overcome her fears and really loved her time at school overall. She learned how to cut with a scissors this year, and mastered reading and writing the alphabet. She learned how to follow direction, to sing songs, and how to calmly sit and listen. Tory absolutely adored the children's teacher, Ms. Janna, who'd I say became one of Tory's very favorite people on the planet. I'll never forget the way Tory aspired for her teacher's attention, or the way she'd move her little carpet square as physically close to Ms. Janna's chair without actually sitting on her lap during Circle Time. She looked forward to going to school every week, even on the days she wasn't so sure about me leaving her. That's really everything a parent can wish for when sending their child to school -- for them to enjoy being there.

I'm going to miss seeing Tory's classmates every week, and also miss the adult conversations during my parent portion of the class. I even felt a little teary-eyed leading Tory out of her classroom one last time this morning. I can't imagine the emotions involved with the first and last days of real school someday!

Luckily, Tory will be returning to Ms. Janna's class next fall. It's a 3 & 4 year old preschool program and since Tory is the youngest kid in class (an August 30 birthday before a September 1 cut-off date), we've elected to enroll her in the same 2-days/week class again. Most of the other parents are moving their children up to 3-day preschool program next year, but I'm confident in our decision to stay where we are. Tory's excelling wonderfully at an intellectual level, and I think keeping her in the same program for another year (where she'll actually be one of the older kids in class for once) will only benefit her socially. Tory's teacher has already committed to tailoring preschool work to Tory's skill-level, so she won't be bored repeating the same class instruction again. Of course, there'll be a whole new group of students next year so it wouldn't be the same anyway.

Tory's first year of preschool is in the books. Now, bring on summer!*

(*Which, by the way, caused Tory much confusion this morning. "But, Mom! Why is school over? It's not summer break; it's still spring outside!")

End of School Year Handprint Craft

Next Tuesday is the last day of Tory's three-year-old preschool class. I can hardly believe it! When I signed her up last fall, the description said children would attend something like 96 classes which seemed like an impossible number at the time. Suddenly, BAM! Here we are at the end of the school year. Crazy.

For the parent's last class next Tuesday, the instructor asked every adult to bring in something to share with our group (i.e.: a meaningful quote, beloved recipe, a book recommendation, etc.). I decided to make a simple handprint craft for my contribution to commemorate the end of the children's preschool year. You can never have too many handprint crafts, in my opinion. Kids grow so quickly and I know someday I'll cherish all the stamped artwork and ornaments I've made of Tory (and Aden's) little hands and feet over the years.

First, I found an "end of the school year" poem online (source here) and typed it into a blank computer document. I added a star border and printed 15 copies on 8x10 paper, then mounted each one to a piece of 9x12 construction paper.

Last, I painted Tory's hands and asked her to stamp them onto one of the papers in the designated spot. DONE!

My plan is to provide each parent with a "blank" sheet mounted to construction paper and they can add their child's handprint to the paper at home should they choose to do so.

Seriously, the easiest handprint craft ever!

Click here to download a free copy of the blank handprint craft.

Scheduling Considerations

Preschool has hit a ... snag. We missed a day of class when Tory was sick with Hand, Foot and Mouth and now something's changed. Suddenly, Tory is having a hard time separating from me, and reports back from the teacher say she's clinging to the instructor and her crying outbursts are disrupting the class.

First of all, what? Tory is three, Ms. Teacher Lady! Practically a baby, she is. I find it understandable for a 37 month old child to have trouble separating from her parent(s). Don't you? I know some kids don't have much issue separating in various child care situations, but this does seem to be an issue with Tory. This separation at school thing is all too familiar to last year. It took Tory NINE WEEKS last fall to settle into her preschool classroom and those weeks were exhausted for the both of us. Though different from last year, Tory's new teacher seems to have less patience to weather the storm. Honestly, maybe the same could be said for me.

The first three class meetings went smoothly, and now Tory's cried for me during class the last four sessions. What's changed? I'm left scratching my head over it because there's nothing new/different happening at home. Her teacher suggested I send a special toy and a picture of our family along for comfort before resorting to me staying in class with Tory full-time. I hate to sound pessimistic, but it won't help. Tory's not hugely attached to one physical object, and last year it took the love and patience of her teacher (and me staying in the classroom with her full-time for several weeks) to gradually transition Tory into separation. I get the feeling this teacher won't be so supportive. There is more structured learning in the classroom this year vs. being more play-focused last year, and I don't think the teacher has time for hand-holding when she's trying to manage so many other objectives during class.

The Thursday drop-off days are interesting. I guess you could say I'm going through a little separation anxiety of my own because I miss Tory terribly while she's at school by herself. I imagined that time being a special morning for Aden and I, but it's really not. Ha! In my grand plan, I forgot he still takes a morning nap, so I'm usually left by myself to blog or knock out a few chores around the house. Really, by the time I drop Tory off and drive back home, Aden and I only have an hour's time before we have to pack up and go pick Tory up again so it's not that much "alone" time. It's strangely quiet without my little side-kick on those mornings. I don't love it. 

Then, there's this: I'm feeling over-scheduled this fall. After a really great summer with swimming class being our only commitment, I'm missing the freedom to make impromptu trips to the zoo or visit the library. A friend asked to get together for a play date and I had to say no because we don't have a free morning on the calendar this fall. Well, technically Monday mornings are free, but I'm not giving up my one morning a week to stay in our pajamas, clean house and do laundry. We have somewhere to be by 9:00am every day and I'm left wondering why I've scheduled our days so tightly. I've been thinking about dropping music class on Fridays to free up some time, but this recent crying jag of Tory's at preschool has me thinking otherwise. What I should really drop is twice-a-week preschool. We don't need the drama. Tory has years ahead to be in a formalized school setting. Maybe she's not ready yet? I miss our unscheduled days and time to craft and bake and work on projects together. Perhaps a quieter calendar this fall would yield more time for learning at home? So many of my friends who sent their five-year-olds to kindergarten this year made me realize those quiet days at home with my little kids are fleeting.

I can't remember who told me this recently, but someone said some parents choose various paths of schooling for their children: traditional schooling, daycare, homeschooling, and even unschooling where kids are left to learn and explore in their own ways. This person said some parents choose to keep their children home together during the early years to develop a bond between siblings before the formal school years really begin. The latter resonated with me, and I immediately thought of Tory and Aden and how much those two love one another. It warms my heart the way Aden gazes at Tory with such admiration, and how Tory can't stand being away from Aden for even a minute. Aden took a particularly long nap one afternoon last week and Tory was chomping at the bit to see him. She kept checking the baby monitor every few minutes and burst into his room exclaiming, "hi buddy, hi, hi, hi!" as soon as he woke up. I like the idea of letting my kids develop a tight bond with one another while they're still home together everyday. There is no one else in life quite like a sibling, and if they've got each other's back for life they'll never be alone in this world. 

I guess this is to say I'm thinking about simplifying life around here. More freedom to be ourselves, to spend time together as a family and to just play. Andi and I discussed it, and we're going to give Tory a few more weeks to settle into the routine of school. It she's still not enjoying it, change may be in order.  

Tory, Lately

Tory's been on my mind a lot lately. It's one of those pivotal times in parenting I can see her changing and growing before my very eyes. Every day, she does something that makes me so proud to call her my daughter. And, if I'm being totally honest, there's usually a point each day when I force myself to dig deep to refrain from shouting "stop whining / throwing a tantrum / shouting demands at me like I'm your servant!" Oh, life with a three-year-old. So polarizing.

Anyway, first an update about preschool because I'm loving how well Tory's embraced her new ECFE class this year and I'm so gosh-darn proud of the way she's handled the transition of it all. Preschool class is a night and day difference from last year. I'm not sure if it's Tory's age and maturity level? The fact she's been exposed to this type of school setting before? Whatever the case, Tory is rocking school. So stinkin' proud of her!

For one, she struts into the school building with her head held high and little blue bucket placed confidently on her arm. She walks into her classroom, finds her name sign on the table to "check-in" (she can locate her name card by sight which is something I've noticed other 3YO classmates have trouble doing) and then runs right over to her teacher, Miss Janna, to say hello. The admiration Tory has for Miss Janna is adorable. She is enamored by this lady. I'm not sure if it's because Miss Janna is young and pretty or because she's someone Tory looks up to, but she loves her teacher. Yesterday, we were playing kitchen during the designated play time at the beginning of class and I asked Tory if she made me a cup of coffee. "No, Mom, this is for Miss Janna" Tory said, and ran all the way across the room to deliver the pretend cup of coffee to her teacher. She hangs on every last word Miss Janna says during Circle Time and dances right in front of her during songs -- like she wants to hoard every bit of Miss Janna's attention. One day the class was singing and dancing to a song about fish and Tory shouted aloud, "Miss Janna, I go swimming at my cabin!" so randomly in the middle of the song. Ha! I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I remember feeling the same way about my own kindergarten teacher. Back then, Ms. Neal was so nice and loving. She even dressed up as Viola Swamp in Miss Nelson is Missing! for Halloween my kindergarten year, and I'll never forget that. I think it's the same thing for Tory, this admiration for her teacher, and I love it.

Admittedly, I was overwhelmed on Tory's first day of preschool this year. I think it was "parenting nerves" I'd worked myself up over (the first days of school have always filled my stomach with butterflies) and the diversity and size of Tory's preschool class this year which had me worried she'd be overlooked in her classroom. Two weeks into the school year, and several kids in Tory's class have dropped to the afternoon session making the class size much more manageable. There's 12 kids in her class now versus 17 kids on the first day, and everything feels much less chaotic. Also, a very timely church sermon the first week of school about loving everyone helped knock me upside the head and realize every kid in Tory's class has the right to receive the same learning experiences as my child. (Thanks, God, I needed that.) There's a little more hub-bub in Tory's classroom with extra professionals to assist children with special needs, but that's alright. Clearly, Tory is loving school this year and is taking so much away from every gathering. I'm loving the dynamics in the parenting group that meets on Tuesday mornings, too. It's going to be a good year.

----
Speaking of church, I've started to make God a bigger priority in our lives. Summer is ... hard, I don't know, and we stopped going to church regularly during the warmer months. It's an excuse, but not a very good one. Now the school year has started, I'm making Wednesday night church service a part of our routine. I'd love to attend church together as a family, but it's just not feasible every week with Andi's busy work schedule and I can't let that stand in the way of forming a relationship between God and my kids, or from serving God in my own way. So, I've taken the kids to church by myself on Wednesday evenings the last few weeks and it's gone surprisingly well. I prepare hard for the 45-minute service with lots of books, quiet toys, busy bag activities, etc. for Tory and Aden to do and strategically sit in a pew close to the band so there's entertainment for the kids throughout the service. Aden loves the music, and dances along in my arms - it's adorable. And, Tory has been awesome during the service. Seriously, an absolute angel. She keeps busy with her activities, stays quiet and well-behaved. Two weeks ago, she even went up to the front by herself during the children's sermon and recapped to me what they talked about during our car ride home. I'm so, so proud of her actions. It makes my life a million times easier.

---
One of Tory's favorite characters right now is Olivia. Olivia reminds me a lot of Tory; they both have a great deal of confidence and imagination. She likes to watch the television episodes on Nickelodeon and a few weeks ago, I bought her a box set of Olivia books. These are not the books Andi will want to read to Tory at bedtime (heads up!) because they're long-winded with some complex dialogue, but Tory enjoys them so we've been reading them quite a bit. Anyway, yesterday I was feeding Aden a bottle in the rocking chair and Tory brought over a few books to read to us. She sat down on the foot stool, flipped open an Olivia book and began reciting almost every word by heart using the pictures on the pages as a guide. Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened to her tell us all about Olivia's adventure because, seriously, I could not believe Tory remembered all that detail! I was so proud of her for listening so intently to our time together reading those books. What a smart girl!  

---
Tory has started to clean off her own plate after meal time, and put her own dishes in the dishwasher. I didn't tell her to do this; she just started doing it one day. Can I get a hallelujah?! It's moments like this that make me so proud of her. Like, maybe I am doing something right as a parent. It's a small glimpse into the future of a bigger, more grown up Tory Girl. I love it.

So anyway ... my girl. She's growing up fast and it's bittersweet. I find myself giving Tory extra hugs and kisses the last few weeks because she's just so darn wonderful most of the time. How did I get to be so lucky in this life of mine?

Tory's 1st Day of Preschool (2014-2015)

I have a list of things to write about here, including Tory's ballerina-themed 3rd birthday party over the weekend, but first I want to capture the magic of Tory's first day of preschool.

Our girl ROCKED preschool yesterday! I am so, so proud of the way Tory conducted herself. No tears. No drama. Only smiles and laughter and fun, which is exactly what the first day of preschool should be for a (brand new!) three-year-old.

For the second year, we enrolled Tory in ECFE preschool through our school district. When so many of my parent-friends were going back and forth deciding where to send their three-year-olds this year, I confidently stood in my/our family's decision to enroll Tory in another year of ECFE. The struggles Tory experienced last fall in learning to separate from me are fresh in my heart, and I want to ensure school transitions - especially at this tender age - for Tory are slow and easy. I also remember the way Tory thrived in ECFE last year once she was comfortable with her teacher and learned the routine of school. I don't want a lot of "school" pressure on Tory right now. She has her whole life to be tied down to the classroom. And, that's why I like the ECFE format. It follows the school district's curriculum, but it's mostly play-based which is exactly where I think Tory's focus should be right now.

Last year, I enjoyed the format of our one-day-a-week ECFE class (some parent / child time together in class, then parent / child separation in different classrooms). Once we reached a point where Tory enjoyed school last year, it was refreshing to have a morning where she was my only focus. I spent 30 minutes of play time with her in her classroom without any of life's usual distractions (sharing my attention with Aden, catching up on laundry, preparing dinner, etc.) and I also had 45 minutes of adult time with other parents in a classroom setting where we learned about our children's development. I found the parent educational part last year to be both interesting and resourceful.

So, enrolling in ECFE again this year was a no-brainer for me. This year's classroom format is basically the same, except Tory will have two days of preschool each week versus one day. On Tuesdays, Tory and I will spend time together in her classroom (and Aden will go to the sibling care room), then we'll split into different parent / child rooms. On Thursdays, Tory will have preschool again and I'll simply drop her off at the door. On those days, I'm looking forward to having some quality time with Aden -- something we've rarely had together in his life as second born. My plan for Thursday mornings is to focus on Aden whether it be play time at home, taking him to the library, going for walks, etc., though let's be honest, I'm sure a few errands will slip into our time on occasion.

Tory's first day of ECFE preschool wasn't without hiccups, of course. For one, the preschool teacher (the same raved-about teacher who'd taught this class for years) accepted a kindergarten teaching position at another school ... last week. I'd prepped Tory about how great "Ms. Karen" would be, and how "Miss Ann" from last year would no longer be her teacher. Rookie mistake, Mom. I know better than to tell Tory too much information ahead of time because things - life - always changes. Surprisingly though, Tory didn't seem to care. "Ms. Janna" is her new temporary long-term substitute teacher until the preschool teacher position is filled. Things change and luckily, Tory wasn't phased a bit.

A few "red flags" for me were the class size (17 kids!) which is double the number of students compared to last year. Preschool yesterday was really overwhelming, even for me, having 17 children plus parents in one classroom. That's 40 people and 2 teachers (Miss Jana and a class helper), but who's counting? WOW. Fortunately, Tory wasn't too phased. She held onto my leg or my hand during the first part of class, but that's to be expected in any new situation. I'm hoping the overwhelmingness of it all can be chalked up to "first day" commotion and being the substitute teacher's first day. (I'm secretly hoping a few kids / parents transfer to the afternoon class to free up some space.)

I worry about Tory's young age and small statue in comparison to other kids in her class. She's the youngest child in her class (August 30 birthday for a September 1 classroom cut-off date), and I stress she'll be pushed around or dominated by larger and more mature kids. Yesterday, there was a boy literally twice the physical size (who I later learned turns four next month) who pushed over to where Tory was playing and snatched a toy out of her hand. I stood by and observed, and the boy's mom did step in to coach her son on not being such a big ol' bully, but I worry what'll happen when I'm not there. I should say in this situation, Tory was fine. She stopped what she was doing and gave the boy a crusty look as if to say, "Hey, what's your deal?" In my mind, I know Tory's a smart girl. She's tough. She's friendly and outgoing. I'm sure she'll get along just fine. But, as her mom, my heart can't help but worry about her. When the time comes, Andi and I may end up holding Tory back (I hate phrasing it that way) to start kindergarten when she's six (she still wouldn't be much older than kids in her class, but at least she'd be on the "older" end of the spectrum). I suppose that's one advantage to exposing her to school situations at a preschool age to see how she compares to other kids. Perhaps our ECFE experience will help Andi and I's decide whether to enroll her in kindergarten at an early age five or age six.

No surprise, I came here to jot down a few pictures and memories of Tory's first day of preschool and I left a book of ramblings. I guess I have a *few things* to say on the topic! It's only preschool, but I want the very best for my Tory Girl. I suppose every good parent wishes the same for their child. I hope Tory has a fun experience at preschool this year. I hope she learns new things, and makes new friends. I hope I learn ways to be a better parent. If the first day is any indication, Tory will do great. And if she's happy, I'll be happy too.

Teacher Gifts and A School Report

Teacher appreciation gifts - are those a thing? Pinterest says Yes, but I'm not sure if it's an over-ambitious mom thing or real life.

My own mother always says "do what you think is best" and I didn't want to show up to Tory's last day of toddler preschool without a gift for her teachers, so Tory and I whipped together these cute little cards yesterday. I added a $5 coffee shop gift card inside each one.

Thank you for helping me bloom

And bloom she has. 

My little Tory Bean has grown by leaps and bounds since the first day of toddler preschool last September. Gone are the days my girl cried until she had no more tears to give; today, Tory proudly strutted into her classroom, posted her name tag photograph on the bulletin board and ran full-steam-ahead into her classroom. She delivered her handmade cards to her teachers with great pride. This group of teachers and classmates have made a positive impact.

The progression of Tory's development in the last seven months is astounding to me. It seems like just yesterday we (read: she) struggled to part during the parent / child separation portion of class, and now Tory waves me good-bye without a second thought. Tory can follow simple direction and "school processes" such as lining up to walk to the gym or sitting on a carpet square during Circle Time. It doesn't seem like much, and perhaps it could be argued she'd have developed these skills without the influence of a formal preschool curriculum, but I believe this class was great for Tory's overall growth. There were many occasions early into the fall semester where I worried I was pushing Tory too fast and now I'm thankful we stuck with it. She's absolutely thriving in her school environment.  

My girl is growing up. These days, Tory's actions more closely resemble a three-year-old preschooler than a two-year-old toddler and within the last month or two, I've noticed a big shift in Tory's maturity. For the most part, she shares with other kids during play dates and is so sweet and nurturing to Aden. During the parent portion of our last class, we watched a few short videos of our kids playing and interacting over previous weeks. It was interesting to see the same child development principles we've discussed in parent sessions throughout the year unfold before our eyes in the real toddler classroom. One clip showed Tory stacking blocks by herself. The parent educator pointed out this is early spacial development for toddlers (for Tory in this instance) and when another little boy joined in to stack a flat board onto Tory's tower, she welcomed him by holding the tower base steady instead of physically or verbally acting to stop it. Watching the video, I was so proud of Tory for the way she handled herself in various social play situations. How grown up she's becoming! It was also evident how much my Tory Girl loves the camera. Hmmm, I wonder where she would've inherited that trait? Ahem.  Tory seemed to follow the lens as the teacher documented the kids' play and even fake-cried at one point when something didn't go her way. Oh, Tory ...

Our first of many, many school experiences has come to a close. Now, school's out for summer (cue Alice Cooper). If only the weather would warm up around here and actually feel like it.

Mommy Comes Back

Time for another update regarding Tory's progress in the toddler program at preschool. I want to have documentation of our journey through this stage in Tory's development as her interest in "school" seems to evolve every week. It's now been eight weeks since we started our school district's ECFE program and yesterday was the first day Tory didn't cry the minute she realized where we were spending our morning. Progress!

One thing the parent educator (whom I love, by the way) said to me a few weeks ago is that staying home with Tory everyday isn't a bad thing. It's a good thing, I just have to be more planful in creating opportunities for Tory to experience the world without me. Now, I know staying at home with my child(ren) isn't a bad thing, but at the beginning of this program I felt discouraged watching Tory's fellow classmates easily handle separation from their parents while my child struggled. As trying as the last eight weeks have been for both of us, Tory's slowly making progress in learning how to function independently in a school setting.

To recap, the first four weeks were the most difficult. Period. Tory sobbed uncontrollably anytime I mentioned the word "school," and repeated "Mommy, stay! Mommy, stay!" in a frantic voice until I reassured her I wouldn't leave her. She'd cling to me for days after class because she was fearful she'd be left behind. School was difficult for her, and it was hard on me as her mother. I felt like I was pressuring Tory to do something she wasn't ready for and I was also mentally exhausted by the excessive whining and clinginess.

After a month of serious drama, I made the executive decision not to separate from Tory during class time. Tory associated all things "school" with separation and the minute she figured out where we were going on Tuesday mornings, she burst into tears. She cried before, during and after class. She cried if we read a book about school or saw her blue school bucket sitting in the closet. I decided it was better for Tory to have a positive experience at school in general than to focus on parent / child separation. I reassured Tory I would stay with her the entire class time. I would not leave her. And, I didn't. At first, she clung to me like glue, but eventually started to relax a bit and interact in her class. With me in the classroom, Tory also became more familiar with the toddler room teacher and some of her little classmates.

Last Tuesday at school (Week 7), Tory seemed interested in playing with toys when parent / child separation time came, so I told her I'd be back in a bit and left. She cried, of course, but I never got called back to the classroom. Tory made it through the entire 45 minutes of separation time by herself. When the parents came back to the classroom at the end of the session, Tory was beaming from ear to ear. Her face was red so she'd obviously been upset but she wasn't crying at the moment. The teacher said they read Tory's favorite book during snack time and Tory was able to (mostly) hold it together during class. I'm pretty sure the teacher comforted her most of the time.

Yesterday for the first time, Tory didn't cry in the car on the way to school. She told me she didn't want to go to school when she saw me load up her school bucket into the car, but she wasn't too upset. We arrived at school and Tory used the bathroom before class, as has been our routine. They have a kid-sized toilet which Tory really likes and it provides good motivation to get her inside the school building. After using the bathroom and washing her hands, Tory marched right down the hallway to her classroom door and picked up her name tag. She walked inside the classroom on her own (!!) and immediately started to color at the easel station. I was so impressed! Even the teachers commented how happy Tory seemed to be at school. Tory happily played during free time and was engaged in singing and dancing during circle time. When it came time for me to leave for the parent / child separation portion of class, I kissed Tory on the head and told her Mommy would be back soon. She started to cry and the teacher came over to console her. I waited for the call to come back to the classroom, but it never came. At the end of class, Tory was beaming with excitement when she saw me at the door. "Mommy came back!" she said, wrapping her arms around my neck and planting a big kiss on my cheek. "Yes, Mommy always comes back," I said. After eight weeks, Tory is finally getting it! The teacher reported that none of the kids cried during the session and they sang, danced, read books and ate a snack as a class.

It's been interesting -- the "Mommy comes back!" -- phrase. Tory says it regularly now, whenever the world "school" is mentioned in passing or even when she has a babysitter at home. At night when Andi comes home from work, Tory says "Daddy came back!" when she hears the garage door opening. I know it's on her mind quite a bit because randomly she'll say to me, "Tory school. Mommy comes back." It's taken two months of practice, but Tory's developing the recognition and memory associated with a parent leaving and coming back to her again. I'm so proud of my little girl and how far she's advanced in this journey. There were times I questioned if we were doing the right thing for her, but now I'm confident signing Tory up for toddler preschool was a good thing. Plus, I'm gaining some valuable insight in the parent-portion of class by listening and learning about toddler development. I'm excited to watch Tory's progress through the remainder of the year.

Preschool Progress

I'm sure the world is tired of listening to my yammering about this subject, but I wanted to write an update about Tory's ECFE toddler class this week.

In one word: SUCCESS!

Many thanks to both Internet and in-real-life friends and family for their kinds words of encouragement and helpful suggestions last week on how to better prepare Tory for school days. As a parent, I just want the best for my little Bean and part of that is giving her learning and social opportunities while also letting her be two years old. The more time I had to digest our experiences the last two ECFE classes, the more convinced I became that this is the right choice for Tory and we needed to stick with it. Going into today, I mentally prepared myself to be as supportive, patient and comforting as she needed me to be.

To set her up for success, I talked quite a bit about school this past week. We checked out a book from the library about school and I took Alicia's advice by talking about Teacher Ann in various ways throughout the week. I meant to put together a social story as Jen suggested, but I ran out of time. I still plan to do this. I did make an "All About Me" book about Tory to bring to class and also printed out photographs of family members for Tory to look at if she got upset. This morning, I encouraged Tory to pick out a stuffed animal or baby doll to bring to school which we kept in her "school bucket" on the window sill in case she was sad. She chose to bring Minnie Mouse and a mini pumpkin along with her.

Tory was nervous as we drove to school and repeatedly asked me from the backseat to "stay" with her. She asked me to carry her into the school building and stuck to my leg like glue for the first fifteen minutes of ECFE. Luckily the first 20 minutes are free play time, so it wasn't a big deal. I finally got her interested in making an apple craft, then she seemed to loosen up a bit.

Next was "circle time," except Tory was finally warmed up and wanted to play. I reminded her she'd have time to play again after circle time was over. When the teacher announced it was time for the parents to split off into another room, I quickly kissed Tory on the head, said "see you later" and walked away. Last week I think I drew too much attention to the fact that I was leaving, so this time I quickly ripped the Band-Aid by telling her good-bye and left before she could think twice about it. This seemed to work better for both of us.

During the first half of child / parent separation time, I couldn't help but worry about how things were going for Tory in her classroom. The phone never rang to ask me back into the classroom, so I eventually relaxed. With about 10 minutes left of our ECFE session, the phone rang and asked two parents - myself and another mother - back into the classroom. Tory was crying, but not as badly as she had been the week before. She was easily calmed down by holding her mini pumpkin and having a drink of water. The teacher said Tory did great during the most of the class, but broke down in tears when they transitioned from play time to snack time. I think the change in activity probably gave Tory a chance to realize I wasn't there. And, for what it's worth, there were about four other kids (out of 11) crying during snack time while I was in the classroom so she wasn't the only one.

Overall, I call today a success. Tory has been happy this afternoon and nowhere near the emotional breakdown she experienced the last two weeks. She's playing normally this afternoon, isn't overly clingy and is currently taking a nap in her new big girl bed. I'm so proud of my little girl for adjusting to her new school. I was sure to smother her with kisses and tell her so after class today.

I know each week may be different depending on Tory's mood or influenced by things happening in her life. I'm just so happy we had a positive experience today because it reaffirms my feeling that we're doing the right thing for our kiddo. Hooray for progress!

A Hard Parenting Day

Today's been a hard parenting day.

Tory and I attended our second ECFE toddler preschool class this morning and it was the first time separating mid-way into parent / child classrooms. Deep down, I knew she might have an issue with separating and that's exactly why I signed up for this type of class. Tory's has no prior experience with a parent leaving her in a "school environment." She does great with our nannies and babysitters (yesterday she said "see ya later, Mom!" when I left home for my OB appointment) but she was also at home on her own turf. I thought it would be good for her to have a classroom-type experience now to prepare her for real preschool next year.

Separating was HARD. I won't lie. Tory was a mess with tears streaming down her cheeks the moment I told her I was leaving for the nearby classroom. Her face was red, her eyes were puffy and she showed no signs of settling down.

It was also a bit embarrassing. I know the ECFE teachers have dealt with child separation issues before, but I was the only parent out of 11 others who's child cried when they left the room. After I tried to reassure Tory for a few minutes in the child classroom and it wasn't working, the teachers encouraged me to say good-bye, leave her be and see if she'd calm down after I left. When I walked into the parent classroom, the other mothers sighed in unison and gave me sympathetic looks. I know they empathize, but I felt super on display. Hey guys! My kid's the one freaking out in there! Oy. About 10 minutes later, Tory's teacher called the parent's phone and asked me to come back to the room. Tory sobbed for the last 15 minutes of class while I sat beside her.

Since class this morning, Tory's been a wreck. She's extra clingy this afternoon, hanging on my pant leg and even demanded to eat lunch while sitting on my lap. I get that she's nervous to let me out of her sight. I've been as patient as possible with her because I understand it's a lot for her to take in. It's also exhausting and I could really use a glass of wine. 8 more weeks, Apothic Red! There's currently a nap-refusing toddler snuggled under my arm watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse because mama needs a break from all the crying.

I thought ECFE would be a helpful experience in Tory's development. She is a big mama's girl and I do think it's important for her to have other social and learning experiences. But, I can't help but worry I'm pushing her too hard, too soon. Maybe she's not ready and why on Earth am I pushing her to be separated from me? She's 24 months old, for goodness sake! We have a lifetime ahead to do separate things. Tory has several transitions happening in her life right now -- a big girl bed being delivered next Monday, a new brother on the way and potty training on the horizon (though she seems to be leading the charge with that one). Is it really vital she learn to function in a classroom environment on her own right now? Today, I'm stuck in "am I doing the right thing?" parenting limbo.

Another mother said to me as we were leaving the building today that there were only two ECFE classes last year where she wasn't called back to comfort her daughter. So, that's a win because her child was finally able to separate today? I'm not sure I can stomach Tuesday after Tuesday this year of Tory in a tailspin. Yet, we'll try it again next week and I'm sure it'll get better eventually. This is the best thing for Tory, right? I hope so.    

Tory's First Day of (Pre) Preschool

The moment I became a mom, I began to worry about providing the best for Tory. (Heck, I started to worry from conception, really.) Tory's got a few big changes coming her way; namely, becoming a big sister this winter and I've been concerned she'll feel lost in the shuffle. I'm putting it mildly when I say Tory rules the roost around here. There's going to be a period of adjustment when Baby Boy arrives in November and honestly, how that transition affects Tory has been my biggest concern regarding Baby #2.

Tory's a big mama's girl which honestly, I love. I'm fortunate for the opportunity to spend every day with her, but I also stress she'll have an even harder time starting school programming because she's so used to me being with her every single day. So, Andi and I agreed enrolling Tory into a structured toddler program outside the home would be a good way for her to learn and grow while socializing with kids her age. I toured a nearby Christian preschool with a two-year-old program, but ultimately decided to enroll Tory in the Twin Cities' Early Child Family Education (ECFE) program which offers various classes for parents and children. Part of me really wanted a drop-off two-year-old preschool (like the Christian preschool program where I could drop her off and go run errands or spend some one-on-one time with Baby Brother) but a nagging part of me worried Tory's young age coupled with her first experience with parent separation would be enough adjustment. With a late August birthday, Tory is literally the youngest child in her age group based on the school district's cut-off dates. There's a big difference between a child who's 24 months old and another who's six months older, and I didn't want Tory to feel overwhelmed.

On Tuesday, Tory and I attended the first day of her weekly ECFE class. In this program, she and I attend the class together and half way through the session, we separate into different classrooms. I don't get any "mama free time" like I was hoping for, but it gives Tory the experience of attending preschool alone in small doses.

I started to talk up "school" a few days prior to the class and Tory's response every time I brought up the subject was "no!" I tried associating school with other kids who attend (like her cousin Brooke, for example) but it didn't seem to play up her interest in "school" any further. Tuesday, Tory even started to fuss as we were loading into the car to go to class. I'm not sure if she was nervous about school in general or worried I was going to leave her there, but her reaction was pretty uncharacteristic of my bubbly girl.

Once inside the toddler classroom, however, Tory perked right up and ran from toy to toy with excitement. She zoomed cars on the floor with another little boy in class, then pushed baby dolls around in the stroller. She didn't seem the least bit interested in where I was standing. Look at my girl go! She doesn't need me one bit. What was I even worried about?

... and then "Circle Time" came and Miss Outgoing had a little trouble listening to Teacher Anne's direction. There was a definite difference in children's ages (a younger "two" vs. an older "two) when it came to sitting patiently in a circle. Tory had no interest in sitting quietly with the other kids and kept getting up to play with the toys. I was a bit embarrassed when Tory kept running over to the play slide and other kids started to follow her. Oy.

Next, the parents met in another portion of the room (no separating into different classrooms on the first day) while the kids interacted nearby with the teacher. Tory did a great job playing independently for the first ten minutes or so until she slipped on the ground near the sandbox and started to cry. Then it was all over. Tory didn't want anyone to console her but me and there was still twenty minutes of class left to go. She sat on my lap for the remainder of the time.

As soon as we loaded into the car after ECFE class was over, Tory melted down. I think the combination of the 90 minute class, meeting new people and being in a new environment was just a little much for my girl. But, as her mom, I'm glad she felt safe enough to let go of her emotions after class when she was by my side. Tory fell asleep an hour early Tuesday afternoon, curled up in my bed while reading books. Poor Beanie was just tuckered out.

Overall, I'm really glad we selected the program we did (parent / child separation class vs. drop-off preschool). This is Tory's first experience with a preschool setting and I hope the gradual exposure to me leaving her proves to be a good transition to real preschool, then kindergarten and beyond. Tory's a smart cookie, so I know she'll adapt. And while she does, I'll continue to give her all the support she needs while worrying deep inside every step of the way.