My Big Girls' BIG Accomplishment

This post is all about my big girl and the potty so if that's not your thang, feel free to skip ahead to the next exciting topic you're reading on the Internet...

So!

Tory's potty-trained! Wahoo!

I think everyone knows our history on potty-training (likely because I tend to ramble about such exciting details). Anyway for back story, Tory potty-trained last October at 25 months old. At the time, I wasn't super jazzed about toilet-training a young toddler when I was 8 months pregnant and the life-changing event of adding a new child to our family was on the horizon, but Tory expressed interest and I jumped on the opportunity. When I look back I realize potty training was kind of a pain. While Tory was technically potty-trained, I had to remind her to use the bathroom every 20 minutes and she still had accidents occasionally. Her overall bodily coordination and size were issues. She had a difficult time pulling up/down her pants, and preferred using the real toilet but had trouble climbing up there by herself. So basically, I waddled (I was 8 months pregnant, remember?) and recited the phrase "do you have to potty?" all day, every day. I'll be honest, it wasn't the best of times.

We all know what happened next. Aden was born and Tory regressed. Big time. She started to soil her clothes multiple times a day. So many times, in fact, I'd run out of clean underwear and pants for her to wear ... and the girl has a lot of clothes. It turned into a battle to get her to use the toilet at all. Mounted with all the stress of adjusting to a new baby, Andi and I turned to each other one day and said, "Forgot this!" We put Tory back in diapers and never looked back. And, Tory seemed happy about it. Yes, we were buying double the diapers and that part stunk, but it made life a heck of a lot easier. I vowed not to revisit potty-training again until Tory practically begged me to do so.

Cut to a few weeks ago at our lake cabin -- out of the blue, Tory asked Andi to use the toilet. He sat her on there and she pooped. Huh? Wow! Good job, Tory! Okay, back in a diaper you go ...

A few days later at home, Tory asked to use the toilet again. I let her, she did her business and I put a diaper on her again. A bit later, the same scenario. Again. And again. I kept putting a diaper back on her because -- no -- I wasn't going down the road again until Tory was ready to commit. Last Monday, we were home for the day with no big plans so when Tory asked to use the potty, I decided keep her without clothes on the bottom half to "test the waters." Sure enough, she did great going potty on her own all day long. And, the best part? I didn't even remind her. Tory used the bathroom on her own and hollered if she needed assistance. We ran a few errands the next day and I put her in underwear. No issues. She told me when she had to use the restroom, I took her and that was it. Simple.

... So, no issues other than one poop-in-the-underwear accident after which Tory exclaimed, "Yuck! That was gross!" and never did it again. It's been two weeks now and she's doing so awesome. I'm still putting Tory in a diaper at naps and bedtime, but I think she could go through nap time without I diaper if I let her as she's been waking up dry everyday. I guess I need to invest in a plastic mattress cover or something, but ... eh, I'm in no rush to be changing soiled sheets on the regular so I'm not pushing that milestone any time soon.

Reading back on my blog post from last October, I now realize Tory was too immature to potty train. She just wasn't ready. This age now -- a few weeks shy of Age Three -- is so much easier. Tory has the physical ability to pull up / down her own clothing, she is capable of using the toilet on her own and there's way, way, way less mess. I don't know why I felt like there was some parenting badge to achieve in potty training my child at an early age, but now I see it's a lot easier to wait until they're mature enough to comprehend it all.

So, yay! Milestone achieved. That was easy.

Potty Training Malfunction

I've been meaning to talk about Tory's fall from the potty training wagon. Last fall, things were going so well on that front and I was proud of my girl for breezing through such a big milestone easily. Tory was hardly having any accidents and could even travel long distances in the car without issue. I wasn't a big fan of potty training her before Aden was born but since she was the one who seemed interested and it all clicked into place, I went with it and the transition was a smooth one. (Well, as smooth as it can be for a hugely pregnant lady to squat down and help a little girl with her business).

Aden was born in November and almost immediately, Tory lost interest in using the toilet. The first week home from the hospital was one potty accident after another. My parents were staying with us for a week to help with the kids and Andi was on paternity leave; yet, despite having all those adults around to help Tory use the bathroom she wet her pants repeatedly. No amount of bribery worked. Clearly, Tory had no interest as she'd wet her underwear mere seconds after being changed. It was okay while my parents were here doing laundry but after they left, I was seriously having a hard time managing the household, a new baby and keeping enough pants and underwear clean for Tory to wear  on a daily basis (and the girl has a boatload of clothes).

Andi and I had a few conversations about what we were going to do about it. Andi bought some Pull-Ups for Tory and we went back and forth about whether to put her in them full-time. Finally around Christmastime, in a moment of frustration, I decided we were done. Here I was tired, hormonal and literally forcing Tory's legs down onto the toilet while she fought me tooth and nail to use the bathroom. She was crying and I was yelling. I thought to myself, "Man, this isn't worth the trouble." I put Tory in diapers and never looked back.

Can I be honest for a minute? It's glorious having Tory back in diapers. There, I said it! It was a pain in the a%* asking Tory if she had to use the toilet every hour. It was an even bigger pain having to wash soiled clothing every single day. Don't even get me started on having to use grimy public bathrooms and the fact that my child smelled like urine 24/7. Tory in diapers is one less thing I have to worry about right now and that's fine by me. 

Now two months later, Tory is still in diapers. The kicker of it all is she knows how to use the toilet, but specifically chooses not to do so. Just today, Tory told me she had to go to the bathroom, crawled up on the toilet and went and then asked for a diaper afterwards. I let her do just that. There's something to the pediatrician's words of wisdom regarding potty training regression when a new baby joins the family. It happens. The parent educator at Tory's preschool said "potty training is a intimate act between a parent and child and the child has to be mentally ready to relinquish this act from their daily lives." In hindsight, I couldn't agree more. I think Tory is craving that one-on-one parent connection right now.

So, two kids in diapers. Big whoop! It's just money, right? Ha. I'm in no rush to embark on the potty training band wagon anytime soon. Tory will have to be potty trained for preschool at Age 3, so maybe we'll restart late summer when we're down to the deadline. In the meantime, I am the worst advocate of potty training right now so a word of caution: don't ask me for potty training advice or I'll kindly tell you to ride the diaper train as long as your kid lets you ... especially that is, if a new baby is on the way.

Potty Training: What I've Learned

Alright, so potty-training my two-year-old while eight months pregnant is not ideal. But, that's where we're at. This is happening. I personally have no problem with two kiddos in diapers for a few months (visions of nursing an infant while sitting on the bathroom floor next to a potty-training toddler keep dancing through my mind), but Tory seems to be showing great interest in toilet training, so here we go ....

Our Potty Training Journey
For my own documenting purposes, I wanted to jot down Tory's potty training journey. Likely one of those things that's of little interest to anyone but me, so skip down to Potty Training: What I've Learned to hear my tips and tricks on toilet training. 

This spring, Tory was curious about the bathroom process so I bought a potty chair, books and training pants to have on hand when it was "time." Back then, she found more interest in unrolling and flushing rolls of toilet paper, so I knew she wasn't ready. Interested in the bathroom, but not actually interested in going potty. Got it.

*Repeated use of the word "potty" in the post. There's just no other way around it, sorry. 

The potty chair has been a fixture on our bathroom floor for months and occasionally Tory sits on it for fun. No pressure from mama, Tory Bean! New baby on the way!

Then a few weeks ago, Tory randomly pooped on her potty chair. Hooray! She did it again a few days later. Wahoo! I busted out A Potty For Me and it instantly became one of Tory's favorite books. She seemed interested in using the potty chair and clearly understood what was required of her. We went a week or so of Tory telling me she was messing in her diaper as she performed the action. Then one Wednesday morning, Tory asked for the potty chair and successfully used it within 30 minutes of waking up. We had nowhere to be that day so I thought, "hey, what's the harm? We'll run with the potty chair today and she how she does." Since we were at home, I kept her naked from the waist down throughout the day and she had zero accidents. Not one!

The next day, Tory and I had a play date scheduled at a friend's house. She used the potty successfully at home in the morning and rode over to our play date in training pants. She was dry when we arrived there. I brought our potty chair along and kept it close while Tory was playing with her friends. Within 15 minutes of arriving (and after one unsuccessful attempt at trying to go) Tory had her first accident. Bummer. A change of clothes was needed. I reminded her often and she tried to go a few times during the play date with no result. A bit later, another bathroom accident happened and required a second change of clothes. Back at home by lunchtime, I stripped Tory waist-down again and she didn't have another accident for the rest of the day.

On our third day of potty training, Tory had music class in the morning. My plan was to arrive in plenty of time to use the restroom before class began. I also planned to bring the potty chair along (so she wouldn't be freaked by using a public restroom) and leave it outside the music classroom door for easy access. Taking a cue from the prior day's outing, I brought several sets of clothes along, just in case. But when we hopped in the car for class, I realized I needed to stop for gas. Music class is already a 20 minute drive, so I knew I was pushing it with Tory's tiny bladder. When we arrived to class 30-ish minutes later, Tory had wet her pants. No problem; a quick change of clothes in the car and we were on our way. At some point in the middle of class, I asked Tory if she needed to potty. I was surprised when she responded with "yes" and we quickly bolted to the waiting potty chair outside the classroom door. She went with success! The rest of Day 3 was smooth sailing for the most part. I know The Potty Training gods recommend discontinuing the use of diapers once potty training is started but later in the day, I did put a diaper on Tory as we drove to the cabin. I had a hard time believing she'd stay dry for 1 1/2 hours in the car no matter how many times we stopped along the way.

Potty training days 4 and 5 (the weekend) at the lake cabin were ... not so successful. We had a fairly low-key weekend with lots of lounge-time, but she just wasn't having it. Lots of bathroom accidents despite using the same potty chair in similar circumstances to at home. In fact, I don't think Tory successfully used the potty one time all weekend. We continued to be consistent and brought the potty chair along with us wherever we went ... including on truck rides throughout the countryside.

By the end of the weekend, Tory was actually refusing to sit on the potty. I began to wonder if she was ready for this. It doesn't bother me if she has a few accidents, but I didn't want to push her into doing something if she wasn't ready. I decided to be keep plugging along and give potty training another few days to stick. I'm sure we'll have some regression along the way, especially after Baby Brother arrives next month, and that's okay. I'm quickly learning potty training isn't as cut and dried as some of the "methods" suggest.

From Sunday night on (the moment Tory has been back on home turf), she has done fantastic on the potty chair. Lots of praiseful happy dances all around. I think we're on a roll now and I'll continue toilet training as long as Tory is interested. I'm a little nervous to tackle bigger "out of the house" activities like ECFE class or our trip to the orchard later this week, but we'll see how it goes. Accidents are bound to happen and it'll eventually get better.

Potty Training: What I've Learned

Prior to beginning, I read many articles on various methods of potty training but never did I hear the minute details or tips about the process. Think top-line view vs. the nitty gritty. I'm by no means an expert on toilet training, but here's a few things I've picked up in my experience:

• Potty training is gross. There, I said it. Maybe it's just me and my queasy 8 1/2 month pregnant self, but I've had to pull on a layer of tough skin dumping and rinsing poop and potty all the live long day. It's very different than changing dirty diapers.

• Establish a routine. Ours is: 1) Use the potty chair 2) Give mad praise 3) Dump the "business" in the toilet and let Tory do the honors of flushing 4) Rinse the potty chair bowl 5) Dry and sanitize the potty 6) Wash and dry hands 7) Reward with a treat. 

• Sanitizing wipes are your friend. Speaking of sanitizing ... after my first encounters with the potty chair on Day 1, I decided there had to be a more sanitary system for cleaning the potty chair bowl than just rinsing. My bathroom countertop is more cluttered than my preference, but I've developed a system that works. There's a hand towel for drying clean hands and another for drying out the potty chair bowl. I added a container of Clorox Wipes to the countertop for sanitizing the p-chair bowl after every use and a pack of travel wet wipes for cleaning the toddler. In hindsight, this seems like a no-brainer but I never read / heard anyone mention all the "accessories" needed to keep things clean. Granted, I don't sanitize the other toilets every time they're used in our household, but I also don't carry grown up-sized toilets around with me wherever I go. Bottom line: load up on disinfectant wipes, wet wipes and hand soap before embarking on the potty training journey. 

• Praise regardless. M&Ms are Tory's very favorite treat so I reward with one Mini M&M candy for every successful use of the potty AND for every effort. (I wanted to say solid effort there, but it just didn't seem right). Giving one candy at a time seems to be enough incentive for Tory, so I don't reward bigger for poops vs. potty. Just one candy every time she tries and/or successfully uses it. 

• Get ready to do some laundry. I bought four 3-packs of the thicker Gerber training pants to use at the beginning of potty training and another two packs of regular little girl's underwear. Factoring in bathroom accidents (pants and underwear), plus hand towels for drying both hands and the potty chair ... you'll be doing a lot of laundry.

• The potty chair becomes the latest accessory. It might not be necessary to carry the potty chair everywhere, but I've found it easier to have one near us at all times vs. scurrying for the bathroom ... especially if you're venturing to an unfamiliar place. Even at home, I move the potty chair from room to room with us so quick access to the potty is always available. In the early stage of potty training, I also don't want to overwhelm or scare Tory with public bathrooms, so packing our (sanitized) potty chair along in a tote bag and carrying it with us insures she has the same potty chair to use everywhere. Of course, I won't carry the potty chair with us forever but for now it seems important.

• Using the potty doesn't mean the fun has to end. I remind Tory often that she can continue doing whatever she's doing while using the potty. This seems to help her stop playing, for example, and take a minute to use the restroom. She can go back to what she was previously doing when she's done (after washing hands, of course). 

• Bring an extra change of clothes. Actually, bring 12. On our first potty training out-of-the-house adventure, I brought along two sets of dry clothes. That'd be enough, right? Nope. I just had enough and we were only away from home for two hours. I'm finding it best to have a least 3-4 pairs of dry underwear and pants for even the smallest potty-friendly outing. 

• Get a Wet Bag. My mother-in-law gifted me adorable wet bags when Tory was born. I've carried a folded one in my diaper bag since the beginning of parenting, but honestly never used it much. I suppose it'd be great to use for an soiled infant outfit and I may have done that a time of two, but now that I'm toting several pairs of potty-soaked underwear and pants in my purse, these wet bags have come in handy. These disposable bags would work, too. 

• Dresses or leggings are best. At least in these early stages of toilet training, it seems Tory is far more likely to have a potty training success if she's bare from the waist down. Eventually she'll have to learn how to use the potty while wearing underwear / pants but for now when in the comfort of our own home, a naked bum yields more success. I'm not very modest, but I felt a little uncomfortable having Tory running around half-naked all day. She was climbing on toys and furniture in her birthday suit and baring all for visitors. I know she's a little girl, but still. So, I've found it best to dress Tory in cotton dresses. That way, she was still naked on the bottom half, but not as visibly as if she were just wearing a t-shirt. For public outings, stretch leggings seem to be the best attire because Tory instantly realizes if she's messed in her pants. The fabric sticks to her legs. True, leggings show a potty accident immediately but that also helps me realize she's gone. 

• Diapers / Pull-Ups for naps and bedtime. I've heard of some people going all the way with training pants or/ undies 24/7. For me, it's a nice relief (and a gradual transition into things) to continue using diapers / Pull-Ups at naps and bedtime.  

• Be patient. Maybe this is just my experience, but I've come to realize there is no "3 day" method to potty training. I think Tory's done a fantastic job catching on, but I'm 100% sure she'll have accidents going forward. To expect anything less would be setting ourselves up for failure. And, that's OK. Like everything, potty training takes time and patience.