Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Potty Training Malfunction

I've been meaning to talk about Tory's fall from the potty training wagon. Last fall, things were going so well on that front and I was proud of my girl for breezing through such a big milestone easily. Tory was hardly having any accidents and could even travel long distances in the car without issue. I wasn't a big fan of potty training her before Aden was born but since she was the one who seemed interested and it all clicked into place, I went with it and the transition was a smooth one. (Well, as smooth as it can be for a hugely pregnant lady to squat down and help a little girl with her business).

Aden was born in November and almost immediately, Tory lost interest in using the toilet. The first week home from the hospital was one potty accident after another. My parents were staying with us for a week to help with the kids and Andi was on paternity leave; yet, despite having all those adults around to help Tory use the bathroom she wet her pants repeatedly. No amount of bribery worked. Clearly, Tory had no interest as she'd wet her underwear mere seconds after being changed. It was okay while my parents were here doing laundry but after they left, I was seriously having a hard time managing the household, a new baby and keeping enough pants and underwear clean for Tory to wear  on a daily basis (and the girl has a boatload of clothes).

Andi and I had a few conversations about what we were going to do about it. Andi bought some Pull-Ups for Tory and we went back and forth about whether to put her in them full-time. Finally around Christmastime, in a moment of frustration, I decided we were done. Here I was tired, hormonal and literally forcing Tory's legs down onto the toilet while she fought me tooth and nail to use the bathroom. She was crying and I was yelling. I thought to myself, "Man, this isn't worth the trouble." I put Tory in diapers and never looked back.

Can I be honest for a minute? It's glorious having Tory back in diapers. There, I said it! It was a pain in the a%* asking Tory if she had to use the toilet every hour. It was an even bigger pain having to wash soiled clothing every single day. Don't even get me started on having to use grimy public bathrooms and the fact that my child smelled like urine 24/7. Tory in diapers is one less thing I have to worry about right now and that's fine by me. 

Now two months later, Tory is still in diapers. The kicker of it all is she knows how to use the toilet, but specifically chooses not to do so. Just today, Tory told me she had to go to the bathroom, crawled up on the toilet and went and then asked for a diaper afterwards. I let her do just that. There's something to the pediatrician's words of wisdom regarding potty training regression when a new baby joins the family. It happens. The parent educator at Tory's preschool said "potty training is a intimate act between a parent and child and the child has to be mentally ready to relinquish this act from their daily lives." In hindsight, I couldn't agree more. I think Tory is craving that one-on-one parent connection right now.

So, two kids in diapers. Big whoop! It's just money, right? Ha. I'm in no rush to embark on the potty training band wagon anytime soon. Tory will have to be potty trained for preschool at Age 3, so maybe we'll restart late summer when we're down to the deadline. In the meantime, I am the worst advocate of potty training right now so a word of caution: don't ask me for potty training advice or I'll kindly tell you to ride the diaper train as long as your kid lets you ... especially that is, if a new baby is on the way.


  1. Ha! I'm of the same mindset - potty training is the worst! The only advice I ever give when asked is DONT DO IT! It was such a loooong battle with L that I resolved to not even try with A and just wait until she either did it herself or was ridiculously old and I had no choice but to take charge. We lucked out when she PT herself at 26 months (although at the time I was NOT happy about her so adamantly wanting to ditch diapers). I totally agree that a kid in diapers is way easier than potty training.
    Now that you've dropped the matter, I wouldn't be surprised at al if T takes the lead all on her own a few months down the line and gets right back into those big girl underpants :)

  2. So first of all, I wanted to comment on this post SO BADLY that I got OUT OF BED and WENT UPSTAIRS to retrieve my laptop because my comment was going to be SO LONG that tapping on my ipad was definitely not going to work.


    Charlotte will be 23 in May and I just cannot get up the energy to tackle this one. Claire was trained at 2 years and 2 months, which is REMARKABLE but her daycare people totally did it and not me. Charlotte just has to be trained by September when preschool starts again, so I have deemed this a summer project. I just do not have time! She is not interested! No. NOPE. Diapers are great. Whatever. NO WAY.


  3. 3! She will be 3 in May. AGHHHH.

  4. We went back to diapers after daycare initially pushed it. When I pulled her out of daycare the diapers went back on and I was so glad. At 4 we still have pee accidents because she is too busy to stop and go to the bathroom but some weeks are better than others. Darned potty training.

  5. I think you did the right thing. She won't be in diapers forever, she knows how it works. It could totally be a mental thing with her--something she can control! I'm sure once some of her little friends start talking about underwear & she gets more comfortable with her role as a big sister it'll be much easier.

    And yeah, I agree that diapers are way easier than that early stage potty training where they need so much help all of the time. 100% potty independence might be one of my favorite milestones to date :)

  6. Thank you for this post! My mom is pushing me to potty train my 2 year old son before baby comes in May. I have no desire to even attempt this for fear of regression when baby arrives. Two in diapers will be just fine with me!

  7. I'm with you all the way. Diapers forever! We already have one potty-trained child causing us to have to stop on road trips (she's four and basically trained herself at 30 months), why would I want TWO?

    My husband is determined to train the 2 1/2 year old, though, so we're trying. Sort of. With a new baby coming in two months, my opinion is why bother?

  8. From what I know - which is very little - I agree with a lot of these comments. If she doesn't want to do it anymore, don't push it. I'm feeling the same way with Cruz. Of course hearing other mamas say their kiddos were trained by like 5 months and stuff like that (ok totally exagerrating) but still. Makes me feel inadequate