Tory, Lately

Tory's been on my mind a lot lately. It's one of those pivotal times in parenting I can see her changing and growing before my very eyes. Every day, she does something that makes me so proud to call her my daughter. And, if I'm being totally honest, there's usually a point each day when I force myself to dig deep to refrain from shouting "stop whining / throwing a tantrum / shouting demands at me like I'm your servant!" Oh, life with a three-year-old. So polarizing.

Anyway, first an update about preschool because I'm loving how well Tory's embraced her new ECFE class this year and I'm so gosh-darn proud of the way she's handled the transition of it all. Preschool class is a night and day difference from last year. I'm not sure if it's Tory's age and maturity level? The fact she's been exposed to this type of school setting before? Whatever the case, Tory is rocking school. So stinkin' proud of her!

For one, she struts into the school building with her head held high and little blue bucket placed confidently on her arm. She walks into her classroom, finds her name sign on the table to "check-in" (she can locate her name card by sight which is something I've noticed other 3YO classmates have trouble doing) and then runs right over to her teacher, Miss Janna, to say hello. The admiration Tory has for Miss Janna is adorable. She is enamored by this lady. I'm not sure if it's because Miss Janna is young and pretty or because she's someone Tory looks up to, but she loves her teacher. Yesterday, we were playing kitchen during the designated play time at the beginning of class and I asked Tory if she made me a cup of coffee. "No, Mom, this is for Miss Janna" Tory said, and ran all the way across the room to deliver the pretend cup of coffee to her teacher. She hangs on every last word Miss Janna says during Circle Time and dances right in front of her during songs -- like she wants to hoard every bit of Miss Janna's attention. One day the class was singing and dancing to a song about fish and Tory shouted aloud, "Miss Janna, I go swimming at my cabin!" so randomly in the middle of the song. Ha! I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I remember feeling the same way about my own kindergarten teacher. Back then, Ms. Neal was so nice and loving. She even dressed up as Viola Swamp in Miss Nelson is Missing! for Halloween my kindergarten year, and I'll never forget that. I think it's the same thing for Tory, this admiration for her teacher, and I love it.

Admittedly, I was overwhelmed on Tory's first day of preschool this year. I think it was "parenting nerves" I'd worked myself up over (the first days of school have always filled my stomach with butterflies) and the diversity and size of Tory's preschool class this year which had me worried she'd be overlooked in her classroom. Two weeks into the school year, and several kids in Tory's class have dropped to the afternoon session making the class size much more manageable. There's 12 kids in her class now versus 17 kids on the first day, and everything feels much less chaotic. Also, a very timely church sermon the first week of school about loving everyone helped knock me upside the head and realize every kid in Tory's class has the right to receive the same learning experiences as my child. (Thanks, God, I needed that.) There's a little more hub-bub in Tory's classroom with extra professionals to assist children with special needs, but that's alright. Clearly, Tory is loving school this year and is taking so much away from every gathering. I'm loving the dynamics in the parenting group that meets on Tuesday mornings, too. It's going to be a good year.

----
Speaking of church, I've started to make God a bigger priority in our lives. Summer is ... hard, I don't know, and we stopped going to church regularly during the warmer months. It's an excuse, but not a very good one. Now the school year has started, I'm making Wednesday night church service a part of our routine. I'd love to attend church together as a family, but it's just not feasible every week with Andi's busy work schedule and I can't let that stand in the way of forming a relationship between God and my kids, or from serving God in my own way. So, I've taken the kids to church by myself on Wednesday evenings the last few weeks and it's gone surprisingly well. I prepare hard for the 45-minute service with lots of books, quiet toys, busy bag activities, etc. for Tory and Aden to do and strategically sit in a pew close to the band so there's entertainment for the kids throughout the service. Aden loves the music, and dances along in my arms - it's adorable. And, Tory has been awesome during the service. Seriously, an absolute angel. She keeps busy with her activities, stays quiet and well-behaved. Two weeks ago, she even went up to the front by herself during the children's sermon and recapped to me what they talked about during our car ride home. I'm so, so proud of her actions. It makes my life a million times easier.

---
One of Tory's favorite characters right now is Olivia. Olivia reminds me a lot of Tory; they both have a great deal of confidence and imagination. She likes to watch the television episodes on Nickelodeon and a few weeks ago, I bought her a box set of Olivia books. These are not the books Andi will want to read to Tory at bedtime (heads up!) because they're long-winded with some complex dialogue, but Tory enjoys them so we've been reading them quite a bit. Anyway, yesterday I was feeding Aden a bottle in the rocking chair and Tory brought over a few books to read to us. She sat down on the foot stool, flipped open an Olivia book and began reciting almost every word by heart using the pictures on the pages as a guide. Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened to her tell us all about Olivia's adventure because, seriously, I could not believe Tory remembered all that detail! I was so proud of her for listening so intently to our time together reading those books. What a smart girl!  

---
Tory has started to clean off her own plate after meal time, and put her own dishes in the dishwasher. I didn't tell her to do this; she just started doing it one day. Can I get a hallelujah?! It's moments like this that make me so proud of her. Like, maybe I am doing something right as a parent. It's a small glimpse into the future of a bigger, more grown up Tory Girl. I love it.

So anyway ... my girl. She's growing up fast and it's bittersweet. I find myself giving Tory extra hugs and kisses the last few weeks because she's just so darn wonderful most of the time. How did I get to be so lucky in this life of mine?

Thankful

By now, I'm sure you've seen the daily posts of gratitude people are sharing on Facebook this month. I'm not one to jump on the bandwagon for this sort of thing, but it has sparked a bit of thanksgiving reflection in my own life as I prepare for the upcoming holiday. Aside from the obvious things like fantastic friends and family and the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mama (of which I am very grateful for), lately I'm also thankful for the blessing of life and some of the simplest pleasures.

My very best friend, Ashley, gave birth to her first child yesterday and I'm absolutely over the moon about the news of her baby boy's arrival. Not only does this mean I have another little one to love and spoil to pieces, but now I'm also connected to my best friend on a whole new level. I'm trying reeeally hard to give her space to adjust and learn her new role as a mother but I'm just so stinkin' excited I could burst right through the phone and squeeze her! Tory and I are flying down to Nebraska to visit them in December and I can hardly wait to hold him and give my friend a giant hug. God is so GOOD. What a blessing.

I'm thankful for new friendships, like those I made in New Orleans this past weekend or local ones like Raising Snowpeas. This year I've worked to develop new friendships and it's paying off. At 31 and after living in this city for six years, I finally feel like I'm hitting my groove and coming into the woman I'm suppose to be. It feels good to grow in new ways.

Sometimes it's the small things and lately I'm thankful for Starbucks. Maybe it's a true reflection of my adulthood, but I'm grateful for coffee every single day. I NEED IT. It gives me the get-up-and-go to be a better mom, smarter employee and kinder person. Thank you, caffeine. You really are the best.

As my final day at work draws closer, I'm thankful for the relationships I made there with people I would have likely otherwise never crossed paths. Today as I shared my news of departure with some of my colleagues, everyone thanked me for my efforts and contributions in a lovely, genuine way. It made me feel really special. Appreciated, even. I'm leaving that place on a good note with far more positive memories than the opposite.

I'm thankful my kiddo is sleeping through the night. 'Nuff said.

I'm grateful for technology which allows me to capture memories forever and keep me connected to those far away. Today I was digging through old photos of Andi and I in the early days of our relationships and I was just so glad I had those tangible mementos to hold onto forever.

Life happens so quickly that it's easy to zero in on what's happening right before you. I'm thankful for moments of clarity when I can step back and see all the wonderful things happening around me. I AM SO FORTUNATE and I want to give thanks for life's biggest and smallest blessings.

Squeaky Clean

Squeaky clean, through Jesus Christ. My sins are washed away.

Thanks Brookie for teaching us Squeaky Clean in honor of Tory's baptism this weekend. (And thanks for getting that song stuck in my head since Saturday. Darn catchy bible tune)!

Andi, Tory and I flew to Nebraska this weekend for Tory's baptism. We decided to baptize Tory at my parent's church in Nebraska since we haven't joined one near our new house yet. We flew out Friday night, opting for a more expensive one-hour flight versus a seven hour car ride because Tory's still hatin' on her car seat. The idea of riding in a car with a screaming baby for 7+ hours was not a challenge Andi and I felt like tackling. So! A quick flight to Nebraska it was. This was Tory's second plane ride (we went to San Diego when she was four weeks old) and it went so smoothly. This time we decided to nix the baby stuff altogether (we left our car seat and stroller) and carried two backpacks with Tory in the Baby Bjorn. (Did you know you can wear your baby through the security screening? This made for a super quick check-in process). I brought my breast pump bag and used it as my diaper bag, and voila! easy-peasy airport traveling. My sister was sweet enough to dig all of Brookie's baby stuff out of storage and let us use her car seat, boppy pillow, playpen and bouncy seat during our stay in Nebraska.

As we walked off the plane, we were greeted by my sister Ashley and her boyfriend Jason waiting with a handmade cardboard "Tory's Baptism" sign. There's no one in this world quite like my sister; only she would think of something like that! Then we walked out of the small airport to my sister's SUV parked right out front in the loading zone. Gotta love small airports; general rules just don't apply. After a 40 minute drive to my parent's house, we finally got settled in around 1:00am. Tory was such a trooper and slept most of the trip (never cried once at the airport or on the airplane!) but her sleep schedule was disrupted enough by our late night travels and she woke up several times throughout the night. Needless to say, neither of us got much sleep. Mama was a little tired this weekend!

Tory's baptism went great on Sunday. She fussed during most of the ceremony (and screamed when Pastor splashed water on her head!) but slept through the rest of the service. This was the first time most of my family met Tory. She was such a good little girl at the reception my parents hosted after the service and never fussed as everyone passed her around all afternoon.

A big thank you to my parents who hosted the baptism reception for Tory. What a great weekend!

Holding my breath

Andi and I went to church this morning for the first time in a long time. Since renting the lake cabin, we've spent nearly every weekend in Crosslake and I've missed the opportunity to spend Sunday mornings at our hometown church, singing songs and listening to God's message. It felt really good to be back today.

The pastor's message reminded us how God is always the same, never faltering during times of joy or times of sorrow. It always amazes me how God speaks to me there. Lately I've been all twitchy about how "good" things are in our lives. On Saturday, we'll celebrate our one year anniversary. The best year of my life lived beside my best friend, lover, soul mate. We both have good careers we enjoy and in fact, Andi's new business is thriving. Our families are healthy and happy. We're so, so lucky. And I know it. I'm very thankful for God's grace.

And yet ...

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Isn't that horrible? I feel guilty for even letting these thoughts creep into my mind! I should be revealing in the happiness that is surrounding us at this very moment but lately all I can do is worry about how perfect everything is going. After listening to the pastor's message today, I know all I can do is love God and know he's here during times of strength and times of weakness. We can do anything with Him by our side. Please Lord keep us strong.

How do you handle problems?

At the risk of getting too churchy on you all, I wanted to post about something I heard today that I found both interesting and comforting. It really made me think about life and why things happen the way they do ... so read on, k?





Still with me?







Ok, good!

So, the church Andi and I go to features 'sermon series' every few weeks where we review various sections of the Bible. Sometimes there's a tie to the time of year (ie: Christmas) or other times it's just walking through different books of the Bible and talking about how it applies to our lives. We started a new series today in the book of James and specifically talked about problems, and how we react to them.

We all have problems, right? We worry about health, or money, or fertility, or loneliness or whatever - ultimately we all have times where things just don't seem to be going our way. And when things don't go our way, we often ask God "why is this happening to me?" ... "am I not a good enough person?" ... "what did I do wrong to deserve this?"  James:1 tells us problems are inevitable. They happen to everyone and the only thing you can plan on the fact that life is unpredictable.  But we also take comfort in knowing that God only gives you as much as you can handle. And there's a reason He's giving you this challenge: to better develop your character. God can take the biggest challenge in our lives, give us strength to get through it and then make us better for having experienced it. And, ultimately, we shouldn't ask God "why is this happening to me?" but "what do you want me to learn from this experience?" ... "what are you trying to teach me?"  All we can do is pray and trust in our faith.

A little heavy for a Sunday post? Maybe. But I felt so comforted hearing this message. Life's bigger than what's happening today, what problems or challenges we might be facing. Tomorrow's another day and a better, brighter one at that. Thank God for that!