A Bright, Sandy Light at the End of the Tunnel

It's been a draining few months around our house with Andi's busy work schedule, the holidays, etc. etc.. I barely remember what my husband looks like, and thanks to the whoop I barked through for three weeks in January, we've barely shared a kiss on the lips. Very Pretty Woman of us, I tell you.

But... BUT! There is an end in sight. In less than a month, my feet will be doing this on the sandy beaches of Mexico and my husband will be right beside me.

Oh, heck YES.

We are traveling to Ixtapa, Mexico in February for my 32nd birthday / Valentine's Day celebration, just the two of us. To say I'm excited is an understatement. I cannot wait to feel warm and see the sunshine!

Ixtapa's on the Pacific side of Mexico. I had to look it up on a map after several people asked me and I had no idea. Yes, we're going on another vacation where my lovely husband planned the entire trip. I'm just showing up with my swimming suit and a pina colada.

A crew of Andi's family including his parents, sister and cousin are babysitting Tory for us so we'll be able to enjoy five days/four nights alone together. We are very fortunate to have a good support system at home so we can travel away. Unlike trips of the past, we're planning to do absolutely nothing on this vacation. Well, except for lounging in our own infinity pool (!!!), drinking cocktails, eating yummy food, relaxing and reconnecting.

Counting the days, for sure. Mexico, here we come!

The Places I've Been

Several months ago, I scoured the Internet looking for a scrapbook or journal to document all the places Tory has visited (or will visit in her lifetime). I wanted something similar to a baby book where I could write details about each trip, her first experiences, the date and her age at the time. I looked and looked, but couldn't find anything out there matching the vision in my head. I found scratchable travel maps like this one, but it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I wanted to document each state and its memories, not just checkmark as a place visited. So, I decided to create a kid's travel scrapbook myself. I called it "The Places I've Been" and I am absolutely in love with how it turned out!

Each page features one of the 52 states in the US, a 4x6 placeholder for a photo from the trip and places to journal under the categories: "Places I Visited", "My Favorite Memories" and "My First Time." So far, Tory's book has an entry under California, Florida, Iowa, Minnesota, Nebraska, Texas and Wisconsin.

On the inside cover, I featured this quote by St. Augustine:

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page."

I hadn't traveling much until I met Andi and I think it's one the greatest blessings he's given me. The United States and the world are so vast, so diverse. It's made me a better person understanding how people in different cultures and upbringings experience life. I want Tory to have this same gift of travel in her lifetime and I hope she loves it just as much as her parents do.

Little Mommy Girl

Tory is quite the little mommy girl, always caring for her baby dolls by feeding them bottles, pushing them around in her doll stroller and giving them hugs and kisses. It melts my heart watching her dote on them so sweetly.

Today, she snagged one of my dish towels from the kitchen counter and wrapped one of her babies up, saying "brrr! brrr!" Apparently, all my bundling of Tory in this cold Minnesota weather has rubbed off on her and she wanted to care for her babies in the same way.

I couldn't help but watch her and smile. My little girl is growing up so big!

January Meal Planning

In January, I started meal planning to alleviate the pressure of meal time. Alright, it's not like throwing two pieces of bread together and calling it lunch is super stressful, but that's just the thing. I've found if I wait to the last minute to cook something, it's often food that's fast and unhealthy. My go-to clutch for Tory is Easy Mac or frozen waffles and while I'm a believer in everything's okay in moderation, I'd like her to have a little more balance in her diet. On top of it all, Tory is such a picky eater so I quickly run out of ideas for things to feed her. She likes carbs (bread, pasta), cheese (yogurt, string cheese, cottage cheese) and some fruit (bananas, applesauce). If I don't plan ahead and come up with meals that sneak in some protein or veggies, I resort to feeding her exactly the things she likes because I know she's eat them.

Now that I'm home everyday, I've got 21 different meals to prepare in a week (not including Tory's snacks) and I found myself really dreading meal times because I was at a complete loss of what to serve. Enter weekly meal planning. In January, I started scouring my Pinterest boards, writing out meal plans for breakfast, lunch and dinner, making a grocery list for any items I didn't have in the house and sticking to it. Sure, there are some days Andi works later than usual and I don't end up making the meal I'd intended because life happens. Specifically for breakfasts and lunches though, I've really fallen in love with my new system. There's nothing worse than scrambling around the kitchen in the morning, trying to whip up breakfast for Tory while I guzzle coffee down my throat and I'm still half-asleep. Referring to a meal plan takes all the angst out of meal time for me. I also feel like I have some structure in my new role as a stay-at-home-mom. Meal planning allows me to forecast what's next.

I mentioned using recipes I've found on Pinterest as my primary source for meal ideas and recipes. Mostly, everything I've seen and made was very good and I'd make again. Here's some of my favorites from the last two weeks:

Peanut Butter and Banana Oatmeal
Oatmeal, mixed with a tbsp of peanut butter and sliced banana
I really like oatmeal, and I've discovered Tory does too. I mix a scoop of peanut butter and banana slices into the oatmeal for more of a satisfying breakfast.

Turkey Roll-Ups
These were a pretty tasty and easy lunch meal. Tory ate the pieces of the wrap, cucumber slices and turkey separately and I ate it rolled together. I think you could make a few of these ahead of time and save in the refrigerator for the next day, too.

Crispy Cheddar Chicken 

Would totally make this recipe again. Easy to make, had most of the ingredients on hand and Andi and I both loved it.

Crock-Pot Enchilada Soup
I really enjoyed this meal, and ate it as leftovers for several meals afterwards. Andi wasn't a big fan, I don't think, as he barely ate any. It was too spicy for Tory so I didn't give her any to try.

A No-Responsibility Cabin Weekend

Last weekend, Andi and I took his new business partner, Ravi and wife Nerissa, to our Wisconsin cabin for a no-kids, no-responsibility overnight getaway. Ravi lives near Atlanta but he and his wife are originally from Canada, so they're not complete strangers to cold weather or winter activity. (That said, it was 73 degrees in their hometown near Atlanta the weekend they visited here so the real question is, why weren't we visiting them?) Anyway, we planned to escape to the cabin for a quick trip before Andi and Ravi's big work event next weekend. A calm before the storm, if you will. I was mostly excited for 24 hours where I only had to be in charge of myself. Sleeping in and relaxation were top on my list.

Ravi and Nerissa met Andi and I at our house Saturday afternoon. We said good-bye to Tory and Andi's mom, who volunteered to watch Tory overnight for us, and hit the road for the cabin. It felt so strange driving without Tory to entertain in the backseat. We had adult conversations about traveling and food and our past lives during the car ride. I got to know Ravi and Nerissa a little better, as it was the first time I spent time with either of them. Nerissa traveled to Glamis, California with Ravi for Andi's work trip a few weeks ago, so the three of them shared lots of stories from their Christmas/New Year's work trip.

Stop at the bait store for minnows

Soon after we arrived at the cabin, we drove Andi's new Polaris Ranger over to the landlord's cabin for a cocktail. It was dark by this point and it felt so wild to load up into an ATV and drive across the frozen lake. No car seat needed. No wrangling a kiddo into a snow suit, hats and boots. No need to bring snacks or diapers. Life by the seat of our pants = a strange concept.

A walleye the boys pulled out of the lake just before 7pm

For dinner Saturday night, we took Ravi and Nerissa to Bistro 63, our new favorite restaurant near the cabin. Our friends shared the crazy story of how they ended up together and I learned that Ravi loves all the same foods I do (read: chain restaurants, cheese, and fried foods. YES.) We had a really great time together.

Sunday, we slept in until 8:00am (!!!), then the boys headed outdoors after breakfast to drill holes in the lake for ice fishing. Nerissa and I stayed inside and shared girl-talk, while I crocheted my very first scarf. It was so different than our normal weekends at the cabin; so unlike our typical life. At times, I was at a loss for what to devote my time to next. When I wasn't sure what to do, I cracked open a can of Diet Coke and put my feet up.

Keeping warm by the fire while the boys ice fish

We spent the rest of our time at the cabin ice fishing on the lake with the neighbors. It was a much-needed 24-hour getaway before the craziness of Andi's work event culminates this next week. As much as I enjoyed an adults-only dinner and standing outside in 8 degree weather, I really missed my little Tory Bean at the cabin. Though, it's nice to have a mix of both worlds sometimes.

Day In The Life: Winter 2013

This is my first Day In The Life chronicle as a stay-at-home-mom (point noted as it just occurred to me it's now January 2013. I mean, I knew it was but typing it out on the screen - whoa, where does the time go?)

After an unusually busy, under the weather, whiny toddler tantrum-throwing few weeks, things seem to be back to normal around here. I'm really enjoying being at home with Tory every day. We eat. We play. We change dirty diapers. REPEAT. Okay, there's more to our day than those three things. Here's a look at Thursday, January 17, 2013.

3:00am
Andi and I wake to the sound of Tory fussing from her crib on the other side of the very thin wall that separates our bedrooms. (Future note: if we ever build a house, we will NOT put the kid's rooms directly next to the master bedroom). Anyway, lord knows why we've been blessed with the child who refuses to sleep through the night, even at 16 months of age. I realize it's a small issue on the scale of many bigger things we could encounter but dang, a full night's sleep once and a while would be nice. Usually we leave Tory alone to settle herself back to sleep, so I close my eyes and wait for the fussing to stop. Unfortunately my husband, who has been working long hours for an event he's producing in St. Paul next weekend, desperately needs some uninterrupted sleep. I feel guilty for letting her cry and keeping him from getting the rest he needs, so I contemplate whether or not to go in there and hold her in the rocking chair or let her fall back to sleep in her bed. Luckily, Tory makes the decision for me and goes back to sleep. Phew.

5:00am
Andi wakes me up, kisses me good-bye and leaves for work.

6:00am
I wake up and check the baby monitor to see Tory is still fast asleep. I'm a bit shocked she's "slept in" this late when she's usually up between 5:30am - 5:45am. Oh well! I reach over and grab my iPhone from the nightstand and check Facebook, Instagram and read a few blogs from my phone. Then comes the mental game of back and forth I play with myself: do I get up and risk stirring Tory or should I lay in bed, making no noise and hoping she sleeps a few minutes longer? I decide to get up.

6:30am
Yesterday I made some of these make-ahead breakfast parfaits for Andi and I, so I bust one out of the fridge and give it a taste. I made the breakfast parfaits with Fage Greek 0% fat yogurt, frozen mixed berries and old-fashioned oats. The breakfast parfaits are just okay for me ... not a ton of flavor and I don't care for the mushy oats inside. I like the concept though, so I think I'll experiment with other ingredients and give them a go another time. Maybe more blended (smoothie like?) with a drizzle of honey on top. Now we're talking ...

Between bites, I watch the five-day weather forecast on the news and see the Twin Cities are in for a -1 degree high on Monday. Ugh. I also consult my notebook of this week's recipes and see eggs and toast are on the docket for Tory's breakfast.

Photo 1: Make-ahead breakfast parfait
Photo 2: Five day weather forecast for January 17-21, 2013
Photo 3: This week's menu plan

7:00am
Holy bananas, Tory's still asleep. Anytime she wakes up multiple times in the night, Tory tends to sleep a bit later in the morning (she woke up at 10:00pm, Midnight and 3:00am last night). I think teething's to blame but honestly, I don't know with her. I've ruled out every other possibility so teething has to be it. I decide to throw in a load of laundry and wrap a baby gift for one of our friends in the meantime.

7:15am
I hear Tory fussing in the other room, so I pick her up from her crib and change her 20 lb. overnight diaper. The smell of urine gags me. Diaper changes become more disgusting the older kids get. Yuck! Tory is particularly moody in the mornings and today's no different. I give her a few snuggles and try to shoo away her grumbles.

7:30am
Holding Tory on my hip, I gather two eggs and butter from the fridge, and bread from the cupboard to make her breakfast. I decide to use a heart-shaped cookie cutter to hollow out the center of the bread and pour the scrambled egg mixture into the hole like the idea here. The heart shape turned out okay (you couldn't really tell it was a heart) but Tory scarfed down the eggs and toast. Eggs are hit or miss with her, so I loved this technique simply for the fact that she ate the entire meal. The syrup I drizzled over her toast and eggs could've had something to do with, too. Tory Bean will eat anything with syrup, Ranch dressing or ketchup to dip it in.

Thirsty girl

7:45am
I clean up breakfast while Tory plays toys on the kitchen floor. I make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cut up grapes for our today's lunch at the Children's Museum. I realize how easy this food stage is with Tory right now. Throwing some sandwiches and fruit in a Ziploc bag is so easy compared to past days of traveling with pureed baby food containers and all the mess.

8:30am
I get Tory dressed, brush her teeth and comb her hair. She's very interested in brushing her teeth lately, so this is one of our day's highlights. I also get dressed, brush my hair and throw on some make-up. Tory climbs around on my bathroom toilet while I get ready. Our bathrooms are likely the cleanest they've ever been these days because there's always a little monkey crawling on the toilets.

Photo 1: Tory's closet
Photo 2: Brushing Tory's teeth
Photo 3: Tory the Monkey climbing on the toilet

8:45am
I start the truck to warm it up and load up my purse and our lunch bag. Meanwhile, Tory speeds around the living room carrying a big container of animal crackers. I ask her to get her purple sparkly shoes from the closet, she finds them and brings them to me. We get dressed in socks, shoes, hats and coats and then I buckle into the car seat.

9:30am
Tory and I arrive at the Minnesota Children's Museum for a play date with my girlfriend Val and her kiddos Kasen and Linden. It's our first time to the museum so I ended up circling the block a few times before I figured out exactly where to park. Have I mentioned how much I hate driving in downtown areas? Tory and I make our way through the St. Paul skyways to the museum. It's cold today and starting to snow, so I'm thankful for the walk indoors. Tory and I stop in the skyway and watch the cars driving below us for a few minutes before arriving at the museum.

Photo 1: Reminder of where we parked
Photo 2: Checking out the cars passing in the skyway

10:00am
Val, Kasen and Linden arrive at the museum. We pay for our admission and spend the next fifteen minutes unloading our coats and bags in the coat room and making trips to the bathroom for diaper changes.

10:15am
Play time at the museum! As I said, Tory and I have never been to the museum before so we had fun exploring the various play areas. We start in the "Habitat" room which is limited to kids two years and younger. Tory acts cautious, but excited to discover all the areas. She walks around on the ramps and stairs for a while and accidentally pushes one little boy over as she tried to hug him. Oops! My little Tory Bean loves to hug and sometimes other kids aren't ready for it. We apologize to his mommy and we're on to the next activity.

Next, we played in the "Our World" room which has various areas of real-life play. There's a grocery store, a house, a metro bus, a post office and doctor's office to explore. Tory liked climbing on the chairs and tables in this room and wearing all the dress-up clothes. This area was fairly packed with older kids, so it was a little challenging to let her explore and play on her own without getting knocked over. I'm excited to come to visit again on a day when there's not so many tour groups.

Photo 1: Mail lady
Photo 2: Playing in the Children's Museum

Museum friends
Tory (1 year), Kasen (2 years) and Linden (9 months)

11:30am
It's nearing lunchtime, so Val and I takef the kids downstairs to the eating area for lunch. Tory and I ate our sandwiches and fruit quickly and then we said good-bye to Val so we could head home before nap time.

11:45am
On the drive home, I bust out our new Music Together CD and sing songs with Tory to keep her from falling asleep in the car. Her favorite song is Five In The Bed and it melts my heart the way she tries to hold up her fingers as we count down to one.

12:30pm
By the time we arrive home, Tory is nearing a meltdown. As I'm putting away our coats and shoes, she begins to throw herself on the kitchen floor and cry, so I quickly warm up some milk and take her into her room to rock-a-bye before a nap. Before I lay her down, I change her diaper and clothes to rid of any kiddo germs we picked up at our morning outing.

1:20pm 
Tory's asleep, so I tip-toe downstairs to throw in another load of laundry. While I'm in the laundry room, I hear Tory cry from her bedroom. Rats! Normally I'd leave her in there to settle back to sleep, but she's crying fairly hard so something must be wrong. I check on Tory to discover she's pooped her pants. DANG. The dreaded Poop Nap Ruiner.

1:30pm
I change Tory's pants and now she's wide awake. I attempt to lay her back down again, but she wants nothing to do with the idea. After battling her for several minutes, I take her into our bedroom and curl up on the bed to watch some PBS until she calms down.

2:00pm
I get Tory some more milk and try to lay her down for a nap again. No dice.

2:30pm
Fine then, no nap it is. A 20 minute break for mama - of which I spent the entire time doing laundry - is cool, right? GAH. I get Tory a snack of string cheese, orange slices and yogurt melts. She eats them quietly in her highchair while I wash some bottles. At least if she's awake, she isn't crabbing at me so I'll allow nap time to be over.

3:00pm
I break out the sensory noodle tub for play time. Tory quietly sits on the kitchen floor and scoops up the dry noodles into cups and dumps them out again. I stand there in amazement because for the first time ever I see her actually interacting with the sensory tub like a grown up girl. Usually she wants to dump the entire Tupperware container out or loses interest in the activity quickly, but today she GETS IT. I'm so proud of her!

Next, I break out a Valentine's Day banner I bought in the Target Dollar Spot section. I give Tory some foam stickers and a red marker to decorate the banner. She has just discovered the fabulous world of stickers and has a ball sticking each one onto the hearts. This keeps her busy for a good 15 minutes.

On to the next activity! We clean up our mess in the kitchen, then move to the play room for more toys and reading books. While she plays, I put away some laundry in the bedrooms.

Photo 1: Sensory tub time
Photo 2: Playing barn animals
Photo 3: Making a Valentine's Day craft

4:45pm
It's nearing dinner time, so I throw a made-ahead hamburger macaroni casserole in the oven. I'm planning to make Sweet and Sour Chicken for Andi and I to eat later tonight.

5:00pm
Dinner time for Tory. She picks out a plate and sippy cup while I pull dinner from the oven. Recently, I moved Tory's plates, bowls and cups to a lower cabinet so she can access them on her own and she's loving the responsibility of choosing her own meal accessories. I think it develops independence and her own participation in meal time. I'm also hoping it gives her more freedom to make her own choices resulting in less tantrums when something isn't exactly the way she wants it. So far, so good.

As I'm dishing up Tory's meal, Andi calls and says he'll be working even later than expected. Don't wait to eat dinner, he says. I serve myself a helping of Tory's macaroni casserole and a glass of wine. Not the fanciest dinner, but it'll do. No need to make an entire dinner for myself to eat solo.

Photo 1: Picking out a plate and cup from the cabinet
Photo 2: Tory eating dinner of macaroni, cottage cheese and oranges
Photo 3: My dinner of macaroni, wine and water (seems balanced, right?)

5:30pm
I clean up dinner while Tory plays toys in the kitchen. Next, we walk to Tory's bedroom and pick out pajamas for bedtime. I let Tory pick out her own pajamas (another toddler freedom / responsibility I'm giving her lately) and she selects her blue and pink elephant pjs.

6:00pm
Bath time. Tory loves to take a bath and I'm running out of steam at this point, so I let her play and splash until her heart's content. Specifically, we sing Humpty Dumpty (as we push her toys off the bathtub edge), blow bubbles and pretend to take drinks of the water. When I wash Tory's head, I'm amazed how much her hair has grown in the last month. When it's wet, Tory's hair almost reaches to her shoulder blades. While I towel her off after bathtime, she brushes her teeth.

Photo 1: Soap head
Photo 2: Tory's long hair

6:30pm
It's Tory's bedtime and almost mama's relaxation time. I warm up some milk and rock Tory to sleep in her nursery. She is overly tired from not sleeping much today and tries to wiggle out of my arms while I'm holding her in the rocking chair. Finally, I stand up and cradle my screaming toddler in my arms like a newborn baby until she gives up the fight, closes her eyes and falls asleep. Sometimes it's the only way to calm her. Why with the sleep fighting?

7:15pm
Once Tory's asleep, I do one last sweep of toy pickup in the kitchen and living room, then hit the lights and crawl into bed. I'm ready for a little mama down time after a busy day. I buy another episode of Revenge on iTunes (my latest guilty pleasure) and veg out for a while.

7:30pm
Someone knocks at the door and a quick glance out the window reveals its a door-to-door salesperson for CenturyLink. For reals? At this hour? Rude. I shush the dog, freeze in place and pray Tory doesn't wake up. The salesperson leaves after a few minutes.

8:00pm
Andi calls and says he's just left work.

8:30pm
Andi's home so we catch up on each other's day. He's exhausted and turns in after a few minutes of chatting, while I read my Kindle in bed (half way through Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner).

9:00pm
Lights out. Andi is fast asleep and I'm headed there soon. We're lame and we don't care. Good-night!

Change is Never Easy

I've been testing the one-nap waters for over a week now, and I can officially say there's no turning back for us. I don't know if I'm incredibly dramatic (possible, very possible) or if other mothers are just better adapters than I am, but this has been one of the trickiest transitions thus far. Maybe it's because Tory has never been the greatest sleeper and it took us an incredibly long time to find a consistent two-nap pattern that seemed to work for her. Once we found that groove (two naps a day from 8:30am - 10:30am and 1:30pm - 2:30pm), it worked liked magic. I'm hoping the same will be the case this time around. Stick to it. Stick to it. Stick to it. (My mental mantra, over and over again).

It's only been 10 days or so, but so far the one nap thing has been a bit stressful. Typically, Tory wakes up in the morning between 5:30am-5:45am, so the next SIX HOURS are full of me keeping her busy with planned activities and lots of distraction to avoid mid-morning meltdowns. The 8:30am-9:30am hour seems to be the worst because she's used to going down for a nap around then. The first few days on this new schedule, I tried to get her out of the house (running errands, grocery shopping, etc.), but she immediately fell asleep in the car. I finally realized a little downtime is okay (and probably much needed) without physical sleep. Over the last few days, I've been using this hour to read books on the couch or snuggle up and watch an episode of Curious George with her. This seems to provide enough recharge to power through the morning.

A solid six hours in the morning means my days need to be planned, or I'm scrambling to pass the time and the days feel incredibly long. In December, I had an advent calendar activity planned for each day and it gave me something fun to look forward to doing together. Along the same idea, I jotted down something fun and interactive for us to do every day in January. Next week for example ...

Monday - visit Mall of America aquarium
Tuesday - story time at the library
Wednesday - make Valentine's Day cards for the grandparents
Thursday - Lil' Explorers event at the zoo
Friday - music class
Saturday - make a Valentine's lei
Sunday - play date with friends

I'm hoping Tory adapts to the new schedule soon and hopefully takes a nice, long afternoon nap once she realizes she's only getting one nap a day. It hasn't happened so far. Yesterday she slept for 40 minutes in the afternoon. I let her fuss for a while thinking (praying!) she'd fall back asleep but she never did. It doesn't leave much recharge time for Mama when the better part of my alone time features a toddler crying for me in the next room.

There really is no turning back, though. She is a toddler now, and toddlers take one-nap a day. It's the way it has to be eventually and I know once we're adjusted it'll make things much nicer to do something fun together in the mornings. We just have to ... GET THERE.