Postpartum Update

Alright. The holidays are over and it's time to kick my postpartum weight loss into gear. Aden is eight weeks old now, so any weight loss that was destined to happen on its own has likely already taken place. The rest is up to me...

The normal (ha!) Heather usually diets by scaling back on food. I know. Sad, but true. It's not the healthiest way to lose weight, but I hate working out and it's the way I've lost weight in the past. Since I'm nursing, however, I need to keep my calories up and I want to make sure I'm passing along enough nutrition to my little guy so a slimmed down diet isn't in the cards. I don't feel the need to join a formal weight loss program either, so my plan of attack is to make healthier choices and eat sensible portions. We'll see how it goes.

The Details:
Baby was born at: 40 weeks, 6 days

Total pregnancy weight gain: 35 pounds

Total weight loss since birth: 22 pounds / 13 pounds to go

Back into your old clothes yet?: Yes, barely. All of my pre-pregnancy shirts and some of my pre-pregnancy jeans/pants are wearable, but fit tightly. Darn those giant breastfeeding boobs! I really should be wearing a size bigger in most shirts because of my chest, but luckily it's wintertime and I can get away with wearing casual pull-overs and hoodies most days. I do have two pairs of skinny jeans that still won't button but otherwise my pants/jeans fit with a little muffin top hanging over the sides.

Mental status: Honestly, I'm not expecting to drop down to my pre-pregnancy weight anytime soon. I dropped 10 pounds in the months after I quit my job and started staying home with Tory full-time. That was without even trying to lose weight; just a matter of more home cooking and portion control. That pre-pregnancy weight was the least I'd weighed since my sophomore year in college and I doubt I'll get back there for some time (if ever). I'm okay with that.

Goals: We're vacationing in Cabo in six weeks and I really want to feel confident in my swimming suit ... even if it's just a tankini. I'd also like my jeans to fit comfortably.

Reality check - Photo time:

8 weeks postpartum

...and just a friendly reminder it was all worth it ;)

So, healthier eating habits are here to stay. Tory and I have been into making smoothies lately, and I feel like that's a good way for both of us to up our fruits and veggies. I pre-assembled smoothie packets as mentioned here and that's been really helpful during the day. I've also been making quite a few Weight Watchers dinners for Andi and I and most of them have been quite tasty. Let's hope I see some results in the next few weeks.

On Practicing Patience

Since having Aden, one of the most common questions people ask me is "how is life with two?" I've said it before and I'll stick by my statement that for me, having two kids isn't as hard as I expected it to be. Part of it's because I'm more experienced as a mom the second time around and I'm sure part of it is due to Aden's mild nature. If I had another high maintenance baby on my hands, I'm sure I'd be singing a different tune. I planned well before Aden's birth and Andi's been a good parenting partner helping on nights and weekends when he's home and yada, yada, yada ... the list goes on.

One thing I wasn't fully prepared for is the amount of patience I'd need with Tory, in specific regard to Aden. I knew I'd have to find things for her to do while I was nursing and I'd have to carve out ways to spend quality time with both of them. I mentally prepared for those parts of parenting two kids, and I think I'm doing a fairly decent job at managing those aspects. I'm talking more about the constant harping on Tory about poking Aden, messing with him while he sleeps, squeezing him, laying on his swing and the constant whining while I'm giving Aden any attention at all. All day long this takes place -- from 5:30am in the morning to 6:30pm in the evenings -- and by the time Andi comes home from work, my patience is zapped. Thank God for wine.

Does this get better? Everyone says it will. Give it time! She'll loose interest in him! Really? Because it's been eight weeks and she's still going strong bullying him all the freaking time. Aside from the physical harm to Aden (which, really, there hasn't been much since I usually intercept her), I mostly feel guilty for yelling at her all the dang time. She's starting to pick up on phrases I say to her and spouts "Tory won't hurt you!" as she's gritting her teeth and squeezing the be-jesus out of Aden's hands. The other day, Tory walked up to the rocking chair as I was nursing Aden and said with puppy-dog eyes, "Is there room for me?" Man, it just rocked me to my core. I felt so sorry I couldn't hold them both in that moment, but there's only so much of me to go around.

Our pediatrician says not to make a big deal about it to Tory whenever she's messing with Aden; to physically remove the baby from the situation and not draw any attention -- good or bad. I try to do that, but I can't always remove Aden from Tory when I'm doing something like nursing him, for example. What am I suppose to do, sit on the counter tops to feed him?! She'd grab a chair and climb right up to join us. The Parent Educator at Tory's preschool suggested I set Aden down when Tory needs me so she knows she's got my attention when it's important. I definitely do this when necessary. There's been plenty of times Aden's feeding schedule has been pushed back or he's had to chill in the bouncy seat while I make Tory lunch, get her dressed or take her to the bathroom. The educator also suggested I say things like "hold on, Aden, Mommy's got to help Tory right now!" so Tory understands I'm devoting time to her as well as the baby. I make a point to do this, too, so I'm not sure what else I can do to stave off jealousy.

The Mommy Guilt is eating at me big-time. I know I need to let it go, but I'm honestly doing the best I can to love and care for them both. I feel like I spend a good chunk of quality time with Tory during the day. We color, paint, do art projects, bake, play babies and kitchen and doll house together, while Aden's napping. It's Aden I feel most guilty for not spending quality one-on-one time. The poor guy is so easy-going, I often plop him in the swing or the Baby Bjorn while I'm making lunch or doing laundry. A friend of mine calls it the Second Baby Syndrome because second-borns are often left behind. Rarely, do I have time during the day to sit and hold him and I worry I'm missing out on his babyhood by being so busy with Tory or the house stuff. It's like the squeaky wheel gets the most attention, and Tory's the one who cries out the loudest. I really do give her a good chunk of my attention during the day, so I'm surprised she acts out so physically toward Aden the way she does. Maybe it's just her age and she hasn't quite learned how to "be gentle" with little ones like her brother. It's to the point where I can't leave her in a room with him unsupervised and even when I'm there, I have to pay close attention to where she is in relation to him at all times.

I have a friend who told me the other day she's doing a thing for her Bible Study group -- to pray for 5 people for 5 weeks -- and she asked if there was anything she could pray about for me. I asked for patience because it's a big stumbling block in my life right now.

God grant me patience to be the best mom I can be to my two little blessings.

Kid Comparison

One thing I hear about Aden over and over again, from friends and strangers alike, is how "all boy" he is. And, it's true. There's something about his face that just screams "boy" (which is a good thing, I suppose, since he is a little man).

Aden looks so much like his father. He has Andi's mouth, chin and ears. Yet, at times I see so much of Tory in him. I'll be looking at Aden in real time and specific images of Tory when she was his age pop into my brain. Of course, they're siblings so they'll naturally share physical traits, but I wanted to see just how close they look to one another. I pulled together a few photographs to compare both kiddos at this age (six or seven weeks old) to see the similarities.

Tory - 6 Weeks Old

Aden - 6 Weeks Old

Tory - 6 Weeks Old

Aden - 6 Weeks Old

Tory - 7 Weeks Old

Aden - 7 Weeks Old

See the resemblance? Definitely not twinsies, but siblings for sure. I see so much of him in her and vise versa. It'll be fun to see how similar / different their personalities are as he grows.

Up North Living: Let's Go Ice Fishing

Ice fishing:

It's one of those things I never, ever saw myself doing. In fact, the first year I lived in Minnesota I refused to step foot on a frozen lake because ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M NOT STUPID. No.

But after living "up North" for seven years now, I've learned to embrace the culture including outdoor activities of all seasons. One thing Andi's taught me in our life together is to get out there and do things. If we're going to live in a place where lakes are so frozen they support the weight of cars and there's snow on the ground for six out of 12 months (I wish I was joking; last year it snowed from November - May), then we might as well find fun activities to make the best of the weather.

Last year was the first full winter we had the lake cabin and I got my first taste of ice fishing. I mostly watched Andi set out tip ups on the ice near the lake shore and leisurely catch fish from inside the cabin. Every time he'd see the tip up's flag go up (which meant a fish was on the line), he'd hightail it onto the ice in his Ranger ATV to see what he caught. Lazy man's fishing. I dig it. It gave us something to do, at least. A few times last winter, we bundled up in snow gear and stood by a roaring bonfire on land, drank a few beers and fished using the tip ups, too. Pipe Lake isn't the best known lake for ice fishing, but it's fun for the experience if nothing else.

Once last winter, Andi planned an ice fishing day-date in the Twin Cities. It was my first experience with an ice house on a lake and man, those are the way to go. We rented the shack for the afternoon and read books, drank wine, fished and spent time together in a nice, warm structure. It was really fun.

We'd talked about buying an ice house for the cabin, but nothing came to fruition. Then last weekend, we got a call back from someone who accepted a previous offer and it was a done deal. We bought our own ice house! Friday we loaded the kids in the car and drove to Rice Lake to pick it up. Andi spent the afternoon dropping the ice house on the lake, drilling the holes and getting it ready and after Tory's nap we all went out there to try it out. Normally I roll my eyes at Andi's big ideas, but I really think we'll get our money's worth from this purchase. As it was before, Aden and I were spending weekends indoors because he's too tiny to be outside and Andi and Tory were doing fun outdoors activities. This way, the four of us can all go ice fishing together. It's a toasty 72 degrees inside the shack.

I can see our kids growing up ice fishing on the lake. Tory was a little apprehensive about the whole thing at first (likely because it wasn't the type of "fishing off the dock" she knows from summertime). We cautioned her about the heater and the open ice holes inside the shack, so she was nervous to move around much. Of course, Andi and I were both keeping a close eye on her at all times. Soon enough, she was nestled up under Andi's arm, casting her fishing pole (with no hook or line!) into the ice and watching Daddy fish for real. Poor Aden slept the entire time and missed all the action. Next year little buddy!

I'm really excited about this new found hobby of ours. It's easy to get down about winter when spending most of the season cooped up indoors, so this gives us something to look forward to doing together.

Super Mom

It might look like it from the outside, but I'm no Super Mom.

I try. I really do. Even though I'm just home all day (ha!) I cook breakfast (... and lunch and dinner and snacks), do laundry, run to activities, pick up toys strewn all over the house fifty bazillions times, change too many diapers to count, rock and shush little people to sleep aaaand still try to find time for a shower or heaven forbid, a little quiet time for myself in the day.

Some days are better than others in striking a balance. It's been crazy cold here this week, so for the most part I've been hunkered down at home to keep the kiddos indoors. Monday, I made a list of things to do (pack away Aden's 0-3 month clothes, do laundry, make a few phone calls ...) and I ran around like a fool all day long. Both kids tag-teamed Andi and I the night before with wake-ups on the hour and they were both up and at it around 6:00am. Aden's not on any sort of constant schedule yet and Tory only napped for 20 minutes in the afternoon, of which time I spent on the phone completing a life insurance assessment, so I had zero time to myself all day. Holy crap I could've used even five minutes. I practically threw the kids at Andi when he walked in the door that night and hightailed it to the bathroom for a shower. Ugh. I hate days like that.

Yesterday, though... yesterday was awesome. Yes, I picked up toys, changed diapers, finally caught up on the laundry (wahoo!), bought groceries (online grocery delivery FTW), made dinner and cleaned my house (ok, the house cleaners did that), but I also had some much-needed quiet time in the afternoon while Tory napped. (For more than 20 minutes even!) Some days she sleeps for a fair amount of time and others it's practically a waste of time to burden myself with the difficult task of getting her to fall asleep. Yesterday was one of those glorious days where I had a mental break to do something for me - like blog for the first time in forever. I could've completed a few more things on my to-do list, but sometimes it's nice (and much needed!) to sit down with a cup of coffee and a sleeping baby on my lap to find myself again.

Thanks for throwing me a bone, Universe. I needed that.

New Year's 2014

There's plenty to talk about around here, but for the life of me I can't find the time to write about it. Several blog post ideas dance around my head all day long and by the time I have a spare second to myself in the evenings, I'm just zapped for energy. Maybe this week will be different and I'll finally find time for my fingers to meet the keyboard again.

Andi and I spent the week of New Year's at the lake cabin. After celebrating Christmas in Nebraska, Andi hopped a plane to California for a work event, so it was refreshing to spend several low-key days together as a family post-holiday hustle and bustle. We arrived at the cabin New Year's Eve afternoon (Tuesday) only to discover we'd run out of propane and had no heat there. Mind you, it was -8 degrees that day so the cabin interior was freaking cold. Thirty degrees to be exact. Thank goodness it was daytime and we were able to call the propane company, bribe the route driver with juicy steaks to re-work us into his schedule and get our heat turned on before New Year's Day when most businesses (including the propane company) were closed. While we were running all over town dealing with that issue, I felt like complete garbage. I thought I was coming down with the stomach flu, but after a few cat naps that day and a 20 minute sweat session in our new cabin sauna, I felt a lot better. In hindsight, I think I was flipping exhausted from spending a week in Nebraska, followed by a week of solo parenting, and running on fumes for sleep. I started to turn narcoleptic every time I sat down for more than a few minute's time, so cabin R and R was much needed.

Andi's mom, Janie, joined us New Year's Eve Day and having an extra pair of hands with the kids was so nice. NYE night, Janie offered to stay up with Aden until his midnight-ish feeding, so Andi and I went to bed at the way-too-early-for-NYE hour of 9pm. No ball drop was going to keep us from some much needed sleep. Grandma Janie rung in the new year rocking Aden in her arms in front of a cozy fire and said it was one of the most peaceful New Year's she can remember.

New Year's Day (Wednesday) was a nice one. Andi took Tory into town in the morning to pick up a few supplies at the hardware and grocery stores. Without propane/heat for a few days in this extremely cold weather we've been having caused the cabin's pipes to come thisclose to bursting. We were very lucky in that only the water line to the kitchen sink spray nozzle cracked which was an easy fix after Andi picked up new parts. In the meantime, Janie and I enjoyed a quiet morning together doting on Aden. 

That afternoon during Tory's nap time, Janie stayed with the kids while Andi and I took out our new snowmobiles. It was my first time riding them this winter and only my third time ever on a snowmobile, so it took me a bit to get reacquainted. The outdoor temperature was something ridiculous like -10 degrees but we bundled up with layers upon layers and hand and toe warmers, so we actually stayed pretty toasty. Andi and I rode for about 20 miles before stopping at The County Line Tavern for a beer. We ended our adventure with a session in the sauna to warm up. It was a nice treat to have a day date together.

As always, we're so fortunate to have a place like the cabin to retreat for some quality family time. It was one of the better New Year's I can remember (aside from short while we were without heat, of course). You couldn't pay me to have partied it up at some dance club in downtown Minneapolis. I was right where I wanted to be. 

2013

A new year; another survey to reflect on the year 2013. Is it just me or are the everyday details of life becoming harder to remember?

(Here's 2009, 2010, 2011 and 2012):

1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?


Got pregnant and gave birth to a baby (a boy!) in the same year. It feels a little like 2013 was the Year of the Pregnancy. I added the words "kids" to my everyday vocabulary. I visited a new state (South Carolina). We bought a lake cabin. I planned a neighborhood block party. Andi and I celebrated our fourth year of marriage and eighth year together as a couple. 

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


I don't think I made a 2013 resolution, but I did strive to be the best mother I could be to Tory which I feel like I achieved.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! I did to a beautiful baby boy, Aden. There were also three other babies born in our family this year (Reese - June, Finleigh - September and Anna - November). My friend Lindsey had a baby in June (Taylor) and my friend Ellie to Baby Sierra in July. 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Not in my immediate circle of friends and family, but someone I used to work with died unexpectedly which was a bit shocking.

5. What countries did you visit?


Andi and I traveled to Ixtapa, Mexico in February. It was a fabulous vacation spending an entire week together, just the two of us. 

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you didn't have in 2013?


Still wishing for a child who sleeps through the night (cough, cough, Tory). Let's up the ante and make that CHILDREN who sleep through the night for 2014. 

7. What dates from 2013 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

November 12 - my due date for Baby #2

November 19 - Aden's date of birth

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?


Hands down, the birth of our son. Aden brings such joy to my life. I've also been a stay-at-home-mom for an entire year now and it feels like a pretty big accomplishment to do that job and do it well. Parenting 24/7 is of the most difficult and most rewarding things I've ever done. I'm living my perfect life right now.

9. What's your biggest failure?

Losing my cool with Tory, particularly where sleep was concerned. Man, that kid knows how to work me and I spent far too many frustrating hours trying to get her to fall sleep (and to stay that way). I often feel like a failure of a parent as I loathe our naps/bedtime routine and especially feel like crap when I lose my patience with her. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Andi and I purchased our lake cabin, a new ATV and two snowmobiles. The garage at the cabin is plum full now. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I'm really proud of the father Andi's become in 2013. Since my pregnancy and the birth of Aden, he's helped make the adjustment to two kids so much easier for me by being a great parenting partner. I'm proud of how united we are as a couple when it comes to our kids. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Watching my parents deal with elderly grandparent drama for the better part of the year was frustrating to see. 

14. Where did most of your money go?

Mortgages, the cabin, vehicles, trips to Nebraska, our children, taxes. 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Discovering I was pregnant with Aden in early March and the anticipation of his birth for the better part of 2013. 

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2013?

We listened to a lot of country at the cabin this year so anything by Lee Brice or Luke Bryan reminds me particularly of summertime.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: 

a) happier or sadder? The happiest I've ever been. 

b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. Bah. I still have 15 pounds of baby weight to lose. 

c) richer or poorer?
 Richer, emotionally and monetarily.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Spent more quality time with Andi. Life with little kids is chaotic and sometimes I look back on time spent together and think WOW, we've been together all weekend and have barely talked. Like, really talked, about things other than diaper changes and which color of yogurt Tory wants to eat (Pink or blue yogurt? Our most uttered phrase of 2013. Gah).

One of our favorite things to do at the cabin this year was load up the kid(s) into the car and just drive country roads. Tory kept occupied with Dora episodes in the backseat and (later, after Baby Brother joined the picture) Aden snoozed away in his car seat. For a few peaceful minutes, Andi and I could sit in the front seat together, drink coffee and talk. Those are some of my best memories of 2013.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?


Letting Tory watch television. There were some rough times in 2013 when I was pregnant, uncomfortable and too tired to entertain Tory from sun-up to sun-down. I'm guilty of letting her binge on back-to-back episodes of Dora, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Doc McStuffins as a way to keep her occupied. I've realized over time she's much naughtier during the day when there's been too much TV and better behaved when I engage her in an activity. So, one of my 2014 parenting goals is less screen time for Tory.

20. How did you spend Christmas?


We celebrated Christmas in Nebraska this year. 

21. Did you fall in love with 2013?

With my little man, Aden. He is such a delightful baby, so peaceful and calm. I only wish there were more hours in the day to love on him without the chaos of everyday life getting in the way. 

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I was into sitcom comedies in 2013 -- things I could DVR and watch much later, when I had 20 minutes to spare (ahem, rarely). I liked 2 Broke Girls, New Girl and Big Bang Theory. This season of my all-time favorite How I Met Your Mother hasn't been that good so while we watch it, it definitely wasn't my favorite. 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Nope.

24. What was the best book you read?


I enjoyed reading WILD by Cheryl Strayed.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?


I'm pretty horrible at finding music. I mostly listen to whatever Andi selects on Pandora or the top country hits station.

26. What did you want and get?

A healthy, low-risk pregnancy and the birth of our second child.

27. What did you want and not get?


For Tory to sleep. Seriously. I spent far, far too many hours of 2013 fighting through naps and bedtime with her.

28. What was your favorite film of 2013?

I'm not even sure Andi and I went to a movie in the theatre in 2013. How pathetic is that? 

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32 in 2012. My in-laws surprised me with a really special low-key birthday party at home and then Andi and I left for vacation in Mexico a few days later. 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?


2013 was really one of the best years I can remember. I could say 'more sleep' but then all the questions in this survey would be answered that way.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2013?

Maternity wear. That should really say it all. I wore mostly Gap t-shirts, leggings, and stretchy-waisted pants.

32. What kept you sane?

Our lake cabin. It's our slice of paradise.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Hmmm....

34. Who did you miss?


I missed my Nebraska family and friends.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

Andi and I develop some great friendships with other cabin owners on the lake. It's been really fun to have a community of people to hang out with on weekends there.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

To live in the moment. Being a parent to small kids is physically challenging right now, but it's worth all the effort. Time moves so quickly that one day soon they'll need us a little less. We should take time to enjoy this time now. 

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.


This parody of Taylor Swift's "22" song this year. When I watched it for the first time, I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants because it's SO TRUE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSnDJ7exSO0