Mom Friends

I've never been very good at making friends. In college, old boyfriends would tell me they thought I was a B until they got to know me. Um, thanks? I guess I'm not one of those people who "lights up a room" or whom everyone instantly loves. I have a hard time exerting myself to strangers. Sure, I'm chatty enough once you get to know me but until then, it just seems easier to keep to myself, thereby seeming snotty to others.

I'm not completely friend-less. I don't need you to pass a box of Kleenex my direction. I have a few close girlfriends who get me and mostly, that's enough. One of them, unfortunately, lives in Nebraska and we only see each other a few times a year. I have some friends in town and they have kids and husbands and an endless supply of activities which keep them on-the-go. Time with good friends is always in short supply, isn't it? I'm making it sound like they avoid seeing me, and that's not the case. It's just getting together often is hard because everyone, including me, is so dang busy these days. Since I began working part-time a year ago, I mentally dared myself to "get out there." I accepted a personal challenge to step outside my comfort zone and make new mom friends because ultimately, I day-dream of being PTA mom one day and how on Earth will I ever accomplish that if I can't even muster up the energy to say hello to a random stranger?

So, I stumbled upon a mom's group in our neighborhood and I asked to join it. I know - scary! It felt intimidating to put myself out there and ask to be apart of it, but they're just other moms like me, right? And in my neighborhood. I've love to meet another Mondays/Fridays SAHMs with similarly-aged kids to schedule play dates and swap last-minute babysitting in my area. Our immediate neighborhood is mostly middle-age and elderly couples with grown-up children so meeting other families in the area with young kids would be awesome. I know they exist; I've seen the Fisher Price toys in their backyards while out on walks with Tory. Without being a total creeper, I had to find a way to get involved so, DONE. I asked to join the group.

I force myself to talk to other moms at Tory's swimming class. This summer, I booted Andi from attending the Friday sessions and began purposefully showing up a few minutes early to see if any other moms were there. One day, "Ashley's mom" and I started to chat and it turns out, we had a lot in common. We both work part-time! We both have nannies! Our daughters are a few months apart in age! A few weeks later, she asked us over for a play date. Yes! Tory and I visited their house a few weeks ago and we had so much fun together.

Of course, there's my Internet friends. Many of you I've come to adore and feel like we could be real-life friends if a computer screen wasn't standing between us. Some convincing from e-friends Laura and Lacey earlier this year convinced me to attend The Blathering in November. I'm equal parts nervous as hell to fly half-way across the county to see ladies I've never met in person and school-girl excited to spend the weekend celebrating new friendships. I know we'll have a blast, I know we will. I'm also terrified I'll spend the first evening standing in a corner all by myself. Hold me closer, Tony Danza. Ha, just kidding.

There was a blogger get together scheduled in the Twin Cities this summer which I was unable to attend. Raising Snowpeas and I swapped emails about it as neither one of us could go, and ending up scheduling our own blogger meet-up at a park one day this summer. Her husband called it a blind date which sort-of summed it up perfectly, and we had a fabulous time. I loved meeting her kiddos and I felt like I made a new mom friend. She's someone who's husband works funky hours like mine and who works a somewhat part-time schedule like I do, too. It was awesome to already have the weird get-to-know-you stuff out of the way because we've read each other's blogs for so long. E-friends to real-life friends in an instant, just like that.

I guess I'm learning that' it's ok to put myself out there and to use my child to do it. (Ha! That sounds horrible, but it's true). Being a mom gives women an instant connection to one another, and it feels great to meet other people out there going through the same things in life as me. I'll continue to push through this weakness of mine because the benefits far outweigh the initial awkwardness. I hope this new life stage I'm in - motherhood - leads me to discover many friendships along the way.