Tory-isms

Time for another installment of "The Funny Things Tory Says" ....

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We were at the cabin a few weeks ago with our friends Josh and Krista, and their daughters Hannah and Kate. Tory and Hannah share a love / hate relationship with one another and play fabulously together ... well, until they don't anymore. It should also come as no surprise that Tory is the "leader" of the two girls. She likes to tell Hannah what to do and for the most part, Hannah follows orders.

On this day, Tory and Hannah were playing together in the backyard while the adults chatted nearby on the deck. The girls seemed to be having fun together as Tory directed Hannah to drag two plastic kids Adirondack chairs over to a big rock in the yard. They lounged in their pint-sized chairs with their feet propped up on the rock until suddenly Hannah stomped over to the deck and shouted, "No!" in tears. We asked Tory what was the matter and she said Hannah was mad because she didn't want to play "toenail shop" anymore. Apparently, Tory had directed Hannah to pretend to paint her toenails using a stick and Hannah had had enough of that business.

Just a few days earlier, I had taken Tory to get our first mother/daughter pedicure at a nail shop by our house. It must've made quite the impression on Tory because she was attempting to role play the scenario with her friend. I, personally, found this to be hilarious. Some kids pretend to cook in the kitchen or take their baby dolls for a walk (and Tory does those things, too), but the fact Tory decided to "play" pedicures with Hannah? Totally awesome, comical ... and truly, quite princess-y. She is 100% my daughter.

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(To Andi at nap time one afternoon)

Tory: "Who stinks, me or you? Eww, I think it's you."

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(After mastering potty-training success of the bowel variety)

Tory: "I must be poopy-trained!"

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(Watching a Dora the Explorer commercial on television)

Tory: "Is this an 'on one' or an 'off one'?"

*She's still confused when television commercials play previews of her favorite shows.

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(Me, responding to one of the questions posed in a television kids' show)

Tory (annoyed): "Mom! They can't hear you; they live in the T.V."

*Proper Tory pronunciation of T.V.: tee-bee

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Me: "Tory, what would you like for lunch?"

Tory: "A duck sandwich would be lovely."

*To clarify, that's a regular PB&J sandwich cut into a duck shape, not actually a duck sandwich. 

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(Following her Aunt Lindsay's wedding weekend where Tory served as flower girl)

Tory: "When Lindsay gets married next day, can I be the flower girl?"

*I try to explain to Tory that people typically only marry once and Lindsay won't be having another wedding, but she refuses to take 'no' for an answer. I finally agree that, sure, at Lindsay's next wedding she can be the flower girl.

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We saw my brother, Adam, recently during a visit to the lake cabin over Tory's birthday weekend. We don't see Adam often because he lives in Nebraska and is a young 20's-something guy with more pressing things to do than hang out with family all the time. Anyway, Adam is always sweet with Tory and helped her reach a helium birthday balloon that had floated to the ceiling. At 6'4", Adam's height must've WOW'd Tory because she now refers to him as the biggest guy she's ever known.

Tory (to me): "When I get huge like my Uncle Adam, I can wear shoes like you."

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I was unloading the dishwasher the other night and dropped one of Andi's bar glasses from a high shelf. It hit the floor and shattered in a million pieces, one of which sliced a huge gash in the top of my foot. It didn't hurt much at the time but bled like crazy, so I hopped over to the Johnny Jump-Up to contain Aden while I tackled the mess. Tory was pre-occupied in the next room eating her dinner and watching Dora; I didn't think she even noticed what was happening in the kitchen. A few minutes later, Andi walked in the door to complete chaos: blood and glass all over the floor, a limping wife and a screaming baby in the baby gadget. He cleaned up the mess while I tended to Aden and my foot, and Tory continued to go on eating, un-phased, in the next room.

Cut to the next day as Tory, Aden and I were driving home from preschool. Tory says to me frankly, "I told Miss Janna you cut your foot on your wine glass."

Um, what?

Kid, that's not what happened! Truly. It was a bar glass, and it was empty. I was unloading the dishwasher! Alright, I do enjoy a glass of wine in the evenings so I can see where Tory might be confused. But, seriously, no alcohol involved.

I think we're entering into that stage in parenting where no household story is kept secret. Yikes.