People love to give unsolicited baby advice. Oh yes, they can't help themselves. It's all the time and about every topic. Usually I smile and nod and mentally file their advice under Don't Care because, as Tory's parents, Andi and I will choose how we want to raise our child. Unless, that is, someone is dishing out advice about breastfeeding. It's the one and only topic I'm willing to listen to tips and tricks from anyone because I have this constant fear that I'm doing it wrong.
Nursing my child is the most rewarding thing I've done as a mother thus far, shy of giving birth to her. I cherish the quality time we spend together, just her and I (and miss it terribly when I'm at work and pumping instead). It thrills me beyond words to know she is growing and thriving and living because of the milk she receives from me. But breastfeeding can be so frustrating too.
When I nurse her at home it's easy. She cuddles up in my arms, gazes at me with her beautiful eyes, eats and slowly falls asleep. I've never questioned she's getting enough to eat because she always seems content following her feedings and she's gaining weight. She's never fussy between feedings unless she's tired (displaying no early signs of hunger) although she rarely can go longer than 3 hours without eating (even at night). Which is fine! 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 hours between feedings is the recommendation from our doctor so we're doing just fine. WE'RE DOING JUST FINE.
Except, last week I returned to work and started pumping like a crazy woman, trying to collect enough milk to replace Tory's at-home bottle feedings. I found myself pumping every 3 hours, for 30-40 minutes each time and barely squeaking away with 3oz. per session (both breasts). I've always known one side produces less milk, but the amount is pitiful. I don't have any issues getting my milk to let down, it just stops after a few minutes of pumping. Last week when Andi's mom watched Tory, she said Tory could probably eat more than 3oz. per feeding. She commented how fast Tory ate and while she didn't seem fussy afterwards, she didn't seem full either.
Herein lies the problem: as hard as I try, I seriously cannot get more than 3oz. per session while pumping. How on Earth am I going to keep up with this baby when she demands 4oz, then 5, then 6? The guilty thoughts started to seed in my brain and yesterday I found myself near tears at the thought of depriving my child her only source of nutrition. I've heard others say they had a wealth of milk stashed in the freezer by the time they returned to work (why don't you just rely on that, they say) but me? I have 16 bags total. I simply cannot keep up. I'm torn when Andi offers to feed her on the weekends because I want him to have that bonding time with her too, but it'll use one of my bags of milk which I worked so hard to collect. If I pump in place of feeding her (if he gives her a bottle) it sometimes takes me several sessions to replace those 3oz. And therefore, it's so much easier if I just nurse her.
Yesterday I returned home from work with barely 9oz. in my cooler. When I asked, the nanny agreed Tory was still hungry (but not fussy) after her three feedings. I told her I would try pumping before bed to build up more milk for tomorrow but when I tried, but there was nothing there. There is simply no milk left after Tory nurses from me.
So I called our doctor to ask for advice. The nurse returned my call and reported that the doctor thought it "all sounded normal" and that only getting 3oz. per pumping session was ok. Based on Tory's size and age, they said, she doesn't need to eat more than 3oz. per feeding unless she demands it. Everything sounded fine, they said, I was doing it right. Unfortunately, it doesn't feel that way to me. I still wonder if Tory's getting enough to eat and what I'll do when she needs more milk than I'm able to give her. I know I could start supplementing formula (and I know there's nothing wrong with doing so) except I feel like a complete and total failure. My plan was to nurse Tory for 9 more months, but sadly I don't think I'm going to make it to her first birthday.
This is such a tough situation... I was really lucky to never have an issue pumping enough for Annie - I definitely spent a lot of time on my maternity leave building up a stash and was a bit obsessive about it. By far and away the best time of day to pump is after the first feeding of the morning, because that is when your milk supply is highest. It is probably tough though, since you are getting ready, have probably just nursed, etc - but you might want to give that a try. A little tip.... if you set yourself up with your pump, hands free bra (hopefully you have one!) and pull your shirt/coat over your boobs/pump parts before starting your car... I have pumped and driven before. :) Your commute is probably long enough for a pumping session so it might work.
ReplyDelete3oz per feeding is honestly probably just fine for Tory right now too - especially since she's still eating every 3 hours around the clock. With 8 feedings a day, 3oz per feeding is definitely normal. As she drops feedings, that's when her amount per feeding will go up and HOPEFULLY then you'll also be able to pump more per session since you won't be nursing quite as often. A breastfed baby typically stays pretty consistent in the amount of breastmilk they drink until they start solids - it's formula fed babies that are drinking more - because breastmilk changes consistency to fit the babies needs at that age so you don't need more ounces of it as the baby gets bigger. It is definitely possible that she just SEEMS more satisfied after nursing because she likes nursing more than the bottle. It's pretty common for babies to just drink however much is in a bottle - if she's not literally crying for more, or getting hungry again in an hour, she really is fine. It is SO hard to know how much to feed them though!
Definitely check out Kellymom.com if you haven't already - tons of great advice there, including a calculator for how much milk baby should get per feeding, how to get more pumping, etc:
www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html
I completely agree with what Erin says - especially checking out kellymom.com - it was amazing information. I agree with trying to pump in the morning after you feed her, I did that every morning and even with my low supply, I was still able to pump 1.5-2 oz. right after feeding Allie in the morning. Also, like Erin said, babies drink faster and usually more when it's coming out of a bottle. I would keep her on the slow-flow nipples as long as possible (Allie had them the entire time she had a bottle while at daycare and never seemed to mind). It's a common mis-perception that you need to switch to faster flowing nipples as the baby gets older. Also, I don't know what type of bottles you're using, but some of them have a pretty fast flow, even on the slowest flow (Avent is the one that sticks out in my mind, we used the Medela ones and I thought those were the slowest). Another trick is not having the person feeding her tip the bottle up all the way, just keep enough milk where she's not getting air, but it slows her down. Also, our daycare took "breaks" when Allie got a bottle to make the milk last longer and to let her be able to tell when she was full. About every ounce or so, my mom would stop for a few seconds and just let her catch her breath (similar to what they do when they're breastfeeding). She said it helped her realize when Allie was really hungry or just eating to keep up with the flow of the bottle. I also completely agree that 3oz/feed is plenty. At Allie's max, she took 5oz/feed but only ate 2x while I was at work... so that's 10oz/day and you're at 9 already. Trust me in that I know how hard it is to hear about people filling bottle after bottle while they're pumping.. I had major milk envy the entire time I nursed Allie! But, I think you're just fine and will be able to make it! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWow. This helps so much. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYou sound exactly like me. I never produced a ton of milk and I nursed very often. My kids always seemed full though and always gained weight so there wasn't an issue. When you do start pumping your supply can go down. You can try Mothers Milk tea, but it tastes disgusting and I don't think it ever really helped me. I pumped often at work and got only a few ounces as well. After a while I supplemented and just brought what I could to daycare of left home. Every bit helps and keeps your supply steady. I encourage you to keep it up until she is at least 6 months.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how some people produce so much. My friends would have freezers full! I was pump as I go. I could never build a supply.
Also, it might help to drink AS MUCH WATER AS POSSIBLE. Diet affects it.
You are not alone. Everyone just produces different amounts.
Don't feel pressured that baby isn't getting enough. You know as her mother how she is doing after a feeding. Overfeeding is not good. I've seen it happen. Some mothers do it just to calm the baby or make it sleep and that is not its purpose.
have you talked to a lactation consultant? They are usually a wealth of information. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteErin gave all the advice I was going to give, so I will just say I wish you luck. Pumping is really challenging. Wait - maybe I do have one more idea. Can you get headphones and watch videos of Tory while pumping at work? Help to block out the work noise and also might up your output?
ReplyDeleteJessica - My next move was calling an LC. Thanks for the suggestion!
ReplyDeleteThe Mothership - What a great idea! I think headphones and videos will help because it's really hard to concentrate with other voices/people in the room.
Thanks everyone for the support and ideas. I really appreciate it.
I had the same issue and drank at least 100oz of water a day along with taking fenugreek pills from GMC. I would take 3-4 3 times a day until supply increases and then I would just drink water to keep it up
ReplyDeleteAfter 3 months I went to strictly pumping and did it for 13 months..my little one had some medical issues that we had to measure how much he was eating and it just became so much easier for me to manage. Nursing somehow was very stressful for me, but pumping was not. Too each their own, what was important to me was that he was just getting breastmilk.
ReplyDeleteIt takes time to find out what works best, but here's what I found helpful: As much water as possible!! Eating oatmeal in the morning. Supplements - I took Fenugreek and this had good results.
Never go 4 hours without pumping - you shouldnt need to pump for longer than 15 minutes. 3 oz at her age is normal, you body will adjust as she gets older based on her need. Personally, we never even had to switch to the 8 oz bottles, my son just never wanted more than 5 oz. He slept through the night just fine, was just always at the minimum recommended milk intake, which worked for him.
And I know this can be hard - but try not to stress and make sure you get a good sleep - it really does have an affect on your supply!!
I think you are being way to hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am by no means an expert but her are a few things that worked for me:
- Eat oatmeal and drink a LOT of water.
- Pump in the morning at home an hour before the first feeding.
- If you don't have a let down in 5-10 minutes then stop and try again in an hour.
- Pump somewhere quiet and away from distractions. I had to lock my classroom door, turn off the lights, and put out a sign otherwise I was not going to get anything. I also just hopped on my laptop and worked while I pumped so I wasn't constanly worried about the number of ounces I was getting.
- Along with information on Kellymoms website they also have a forum where you can ask questions
- Check out Milkworks website they have a moms group you can join and you only communicat through email
- At first I pumped on the weekends and days off inbetween feedings just to build my supply. It will take a few days to make difference.
You don't need to have hundredes of ounces in the freezer just enough to get by the next day. Go at it a day at a time. Lauren never EVER took any of the freezer milk I had - she didn't like it frozen - so I threw out hundreds of ounces of milk : (
Fenugreek helps a ton...and oatmeal...but seriously try the fenugreek...you will be amazed...and don't ever feel like a failure...you are doing what is best for your baby-even if it means supplementing or weaning. That she grows and is healthy is the goal, and you will know the right thing to do. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteI think everyone who has already commented has it covered. There are lots of things you can do to boost your supply - fenugreek tablets, nursing teas, eating oatmeal for breakfast, pumping in the morning after your first feed with bub.
ReplyDeleteIs your pump a good quality pump and working correctly? Perhaps the suction is not enough?
You are probably already doing this, but post pics of bub up on the wall where you express and take one of her baby blankets to smell to encourage let down.
When you are at home, feed on demand and not on a schedule. This will definitely help with supply issues.
Also she may just be going through a growth spurt where she needs a bit of extra milk for a few days. When bub goes through a growth spurt it feels like they want the boob constantly and you start to worry if you are producing enough. It's just bubs way of increasing your supply and her demand will settle in a week or so as your supply catches up. The worst thing you can do is supplement with formula during this time because it will actually discourage your milk supply from increasing.
Are you able to take lactation breaks during the day at work? Perhaps go visit her on your lunch break to feed her? This would be far more efficient than pumping...
Also just wanted to say congratulations for getting this far with breastfeeding. Try to keep it up. Everyone has challenges and doubts about breastfeeding every now and again. I'm proud to say that i'm still breastfeeding my 15 month old even after returning to work when bub was 7 months. It can be done, it just takes some planning and persistance. Good luck.
oh and i fogot to say....
ReplyDeleteBest way to know if bub is getting enough is to look at her nappies and weight gain. If she is having several wet nappies in a 24hr period, is gaining weight* and is generally happy, there is nothing to worry about.
*side note: it is not unusual for bf babies to be on the smaller side when measured against typical infant weight charts. These charts are actually based on forumla feed babies who tend to put on weight faster than bf babies. Check out the WHO website for bf baby weight charts.
Found this and LOVED it:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.cafepress.com/+my_mom_doesnt_want_your_advice_infant_bodysuit,253055527
I loved breastfeeding, but didn't want to do it very long, so I didn't.
My La-Leche-Leaguer aunt insisted I drink a beer each night to help get more milk because the yeast in it helped her produce more milk so she could pump. She swore by it and one beer isn't the end of your breastmilk being ok.
This is just one more reason that Mom's should be able to stay home with their babies for longer than 12 weeks...Hang in there - and do NOT let the guilt get you when you end up stopping (don't ever call it quitting, it's a proactive choice you'll be making)...because it's way too easy to do!