A Whole New World

Last Thursday, Tory and I started our day as we always do: breakfast and The Today Show. I'm a creature of routine and I like to watch the news first thing in the morning, otherwise I have this weird feeling like I don't know what's happening around me. I flipped on the television as I scrambled to pull some breakfast together for Tory and was greeted with an automated message from our cable service provider. Apparently we were due for a digital equipment upgrade and none of our five basic channels would work until we got it. I was not happy.

Of course Andi was traveling, as is always the case when anything goes wrong around here, so I decided to take care of the issue myself. "Look at me go!" I thought. Andi has been urging to take on more responsibility around the house since I began a SAHM so I thought I'd call up the provider and take care of this minor issue without bothering him. By the way, I was super annoyed the cable provider didn't notify us before our cable service was interrupted. Hmmph.

I called the telephone number on the TV screen and the customer service employee who spoke very bad English promptly told me he would not talk to me about the issue because I was not the primary account holder. WTF. Apparently, Andi was the only one listed on our account and he'd have to call to get the FREE equipment upgrade. The FREE upgrade could not be given to me for my safety, the man explained. Thank you for your concern, annoying cable service provider. I was pissed. I mean, I get account privacy and all that, and technically it wasn't the dude's fault I wasn't listed on our account, ... but still, PISSED. Apparently the cable service provider had also sent about fifty-million emails, left phone messages, and mailed letters to notify Andi of the equipment update issue, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, I did what any seething-red wife would do: I sent Andi a 911 email urging him to call the cable service provider at his earliest convenience (read: immediately) because I was without television. Dire straights, obviously.

In between meetings, he called the cable service provider to solve the issue. I'm not exactly sure what happened during that conversation but in the end, Andi canceled our service with this very-expensive-for-five-channels cable company and signed us up with a satellite TV company instead.

A few days later, the satellite provider came over to bless us with 150 television channels, some free movie channels and DVR recording capabilities. It's been TWO YEARS since we had real-deal TV and oh my goodness, it is glorious. I thought it was no big deal that we only had five basic channels and Netflix before but no, 150 channels for our entertainment is wonderful. On Tuesday, our first evening with real TV, Andi and I fell into a rabbit hole of Duck Dynasty. A&E kept airing episode after episode and we just kept watching it. It was captivating.

Even better than Duck Dynasty is the endless supply of Bubble Guppies episodes. We don't let Tory watch a ton of TV, but we do watch an episode of Bubble Guppies on some very early mornings or I'd probably fall over and die by 10:00am. We also let her watch Bubble Guppies on the iPad to and from the cabin or she'd scream the entire drive. We purchased about five episodes of Bubble Guppies on iTunes and have been watching those same five episodes over and over and over a gazillion times. I am so sick of those five episodes I practically throw up at the sound of them. Now we have a new DVR full of BG episodes. It's heavenly.

Bottom line, I feel like Andi and I moved to a world where rednecks, Snooki and dance moms reign supreme. We may never leave home again.