The other night I saw a news story on Fox 9 about a 10 year old boy, Mikey, living with disabilities derived from being shaken by his in-home nanny at six months of age. Of course I can't find the story online to link to, but basically it showed Mikey (now in 5th grade) receiving special education in gym class and help with school work as he struggles to do things other 5th graders take for granted. I found myself sobbing while watching the story and I've had a pit in my stomach for days as the story keeps popping back into my brain.
The next night I told Andi about Mikey's story. "Obviously I'll have to talk to our new nanny about this," I said. "I'll tell her to call me anytime she feels frustrated with Tory. Don't shake her! Put her in her crib and walk away if you have to," I'll say. Andi half rolled his eyes at me and said something about it being the character, and common sense, that stops someone from hurting a child by shaking them. "I don't think Allie would do something like that," he said. But I bet Mikey's parents didn't think their nanny was capable of shaking him either. Why would they have trusted their baby in his/her care otherwise?
This story and all the press coverage about the Penn State tragedy make me wonder, how do you protect your kids from bad stuff happening to them? Now that I'm a parent, I have a heavy heart listening to stories of helpless kids being violated. Not that I didn't before I had my own child, but the feeling is now magnified by a million. How do I make sure nothing like this ever happens to Tory? My gut reaction is to put up a force field around her. I'll put her in a protective bubble where she'll never feel hurt or pain. But I can't. I don't want to rob her from life experiences and making friends and being a kid.
This is the hardest part of being a parent. Enjoying the journey as your baby girl experiences life, while shielding her from the world's scariest monsters. I think we all do the best we can, and couple our decisions with prayer we'll be lucky enough to avoid the worst.
We have far too many cases of 'shaken baby syndrome' at work and they are the worst cases to deal with. Ours are usually the parents doing the 'shaking' and then we have to be professional with them - all while anger builds up inside for these babies being the culprit of someone else's problem. It's just plain horrible.
ReplyDeleteBeing a parent is hard and sometimes you have to do things that may be uncomfortable (like mentioning something to the nanny) because if you're anything like me, I always think "what if?" You're a great mommy - keep up the good work Heather!!