Friday, May 4, 2012

Summer Fashion Suicide

I'm a mother now, so I guess it's time for me to respectably cover the lady parts this summer. I think I'm going to buy a one-piece swimming suit and I'm a little mortified that I'm at a point in my life where this has become a good idea.

Last summer when I was pregnant, I was a little bummed to wear a tankini that covered my belly. How on Earth will my body ever get tan? (First world problem, I know). However, all in the name of baby safety (and to protect my friends from seeing my ever-expanding body), I bought a tankini swim suit to cover my mid-section.

*I searched through last summer's cabin photos to provide a visual of said pregnant tankini except A) there aren't a lot of photos of me in a swimming suit last summer (thankfully) and B) sweet Jesus, I was GIANT last summer! On second thought, no photos for sharing.

I kept telling myself that next summer, I'll be back to my skinny self! Next summer, I'll be able to wear all my old bikinis again! Next summer ... ! Next summer ... ! This is just a temporarily blip in life and a fashion sacrifice all in the name of baby. No big deal.

Except, next summer is almost here next summer is here. Cabin season starts next weekend and, well, y'all know post-baby mama's don't exactly look the same as they did before. Sure, eight months post-birth, my body's mostly back to the way it was but I don't think my stomach will ever look like it did. There's no way in hell I'm wearing one of my old bikinis this summer. Even if I wanted to, I'm pretty sure the tops wouldn't fit anymore anyway.

Tory started swimming lessons a few weeks ago and THANK GOD Andi participated in the first class with her. I watched from the sidelines as all the other moms pranced in wearing their modest black one-piece swimming suits. Um, I don't exactly own a one-piece modest swimming suit. Apparently this piece of clothing is a requirement of parenthood. Can you imagine if I would've rolled in to swim class on the first day in my skimpy two-piece bikini? Oh my, how embarrassed would I have been?

Meanwhile on swimming class days like today where Andi's not able to attend, I've been wearing my maternity tankini in the pool. It doesn't exactly fit the best, but it's better than a two-piece at this point. That's why I think I'll break down and buy a one-piece. I'm sure they have stylish ones, right? I just hesitant because I feel like this leap into swim wear is me diving off a cliff into mommy fashion. I already get a million comments from guys at work about how my new haircut is my "mom haircut." ("Women always cut their hair shorter and shorter when they become a mom," they say. OMG, I want to punch them in the face when they say that.)

Will buying a one-piece be committing summer fashion suicide?

10 comments:

  1. I'm headed to the beach this weekend with my girlfriends, none of which have any children so they'll be in their skimpy suits. Of course I'm six months post-birth and my body is NOT in great shape yet. Even before baby I was not in bikini-shape. So needless to say I am bring along my two maternity swimsuits, a one-piece and a tankini. Haven't bothered to try them on even, but no point in trying to find something new now. If they don't fit I'll just have to sun in a tank top and shorts (maternity shorts of course). Maybe later I'll bother to find a non-maternity one piece for the rest of the summer. Ugh, it is frustrating.

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  2. Hi twin! Um yeah, add me to the fashion suicide list. I already bought a one piece and wore it in Florida earlier this year. I also brought a bikini, but opted to cover up the extra-skin belly. But, it's really not as bad as they used to be with the mini ruffled skirt and high cut leg holes and such. I got this one: http://www.target.com/p/Merona-Womens-One-Shoulder-Shirred-1-Piece-Swimsuit-Purple/-/A-13021636

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  3. If you're willing to spend a little more for a quality suit, I HIGHLY recommend checking out Nani Nalu in Edina. They have lots of cute suits for lots of different body types! You can read my review of the place here: http://twelvethirtyoneten.com/blog/2012/02/beach-babe/

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  4. YOUR "BODY ENVIOUS" SISTERMay 4, 2012 at 8:43 AM

    OH SISTER, ITS PROBABLY A GOOD THING THAT YOU'RE THINKING OF BUYING A ONE PIECE SUIT...AFTER ALL, YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE EVERYONE ELSE A COMPLEX BECAUSE YOURE 8MOS POST BABY BUT STILL LOOK BETTER THAN THEM IN A BIKINI!! YOU'RE ONE HOT MAMA AND YOU SHOULD BE SO PROUD! I KNOW YOUR HUBBY WOULDNT MIND SEEING YOU IN A TWO PIECE...BUT JUST REMEMBER, ITS WHAT YOU'RE COMFORTABLE IN! :) PERSONALLY, I THINK YOU'VE NEVER LOOKED BETTER! LOVE YOU!

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  5. I've moved onto one pieces. I think I'm over it.

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  6. I am definitely with you on the parent and me swim classes! Last year when we started Henry I went in with my bikini on, not really thinking anything about it. Boy did I feel uncomfortable when all the other moms were wearing their...you called it...black one pieces. I have yet to venture down that road, however I did get a more 'athletic' version on a bikini!!!

    Ashley you're spot on...Heather you're so beautiful that anyone would be jealous with you next to them in a bikini!!!

    Love ya!

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  7. Ha! That was totally me...the mom at swim class in a 2 piece! I felt a little awkward, but I wasn't about to go out and buy a new bathing suit just so it could get ruined at the gym pool.
    2 kids later and I still haven't made the transition to a one piece. I know I need to, and I've even bought a few, but I always end up returning them. My body could certainly use some toning up, but it could be a lot worse. So I figure as long as I still feel comfortable in a 2 piece, why not?! And for some reason, I just feel better wearing a 2 piece than a one piece. I have purchased much more functional two pieces though, lol! It's not easy to run around after 2 toddlers in something skimpy!

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  8. Wow, Man's Man. Way to be classy.

    Heather, why not get a tankini? It's the middle ground. Nobody over 30 should be wearing a string bikini. Nobody. That ish is reserved for the juniors department.

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  9. I had this type of moment a couple months ago when I wanted to buy shorts at the store. All I could find were the Bermuda type and I was going to Florida where it was HOT and wanted real shorts... not the short-short shorts, just normal length shorts. The saleslady told me they didn't really sell them because after a certain age, women just don't wear shorts anymore.. I never felt so old.. or that I was committing since a fashion sin to want to wear regular shorts. Regarding the bathing suit - um, I still wear a two-piece. I definitely shouldn't, but I just can't find a one piece that looks nice and not old lady-ish.. and apparently, as the saleslady nicely told me, I have a problem with realizing how old I am. For what its worth, my two piece comes from Victoria's secret - it's pretty modest, the bottoms are like regular underwear and the top almost like a bra, so it's about as conservative of a two-piece as they get.

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  10. guac - you make me laugh. I wore the most vile string bikini when on my honeymoon in ibiza -- ok, just the bottoms. And gasp - I was 33! My point being: we deserve any bathing suit we want, regardless of age or child status. But my personal recommendations for moms are : 1 - the skanky suit you wear for yourself or your husband. 2 - the child-proof suit you wear for modesty and/or public events. Because you never know when a little hand is going to pull on your strap and turn your boob into a sideshow.

    and by the way, there are some hot one pieces that dip rather low in the frontal area.

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