Thursday, October 27, 2011

Finding Mary Poppins

Child care. Now there's a topic no new mother wants to talk about, namely: me. 

Andi and I've been going back and forth since July about who should watch Tory when I go back to work. My first choice would be NO ONE BUT ME, which is neither productive or helpful. I'm lucky as it is to be going back to work part-time and honestly, I am looking forward to having a good balance between work and family life. So, finding the right caregiver is a necessity; I've just preferred to pull the covers over my head and pretend I didn't have to do it until now. 

Back in July, we toured a Montessori school we really liked. It's a tad on the pricey side of things, especially for an infant who basically eats, sleeps and wiggles, but eventually would prove value-added when she's a toddler and beyond. The Montessori school offers part-time care, but the center director wasn't super stoked about families who choose that option. She mumbled something about consistency for the teachers and child as being the reason, but I suspect she also likes the bigger paycheck associated with full-time families. Speaking of the center director, she was the only 'negative' I saw about the entire experience there. I didn't find her particularly friendly, but Andi said he didn't catch that vibe so maybe it was just me? She runs the center, but wouldn't be Tory's direct teacher so I'm not too concerned about her personality. We toured another center near our house and it was a real dump, so if we went the center-route, the Montessori school would be our choice.

Andi suggested we hire a nanny instead. Since I'll only be working 3 days a week, this option would be cheaper (although not by much) and more flexible. We wouldn't have to pay for child care when we take vacations, and may even find someone to travel with us. Andi posted the job on a local nanny website and we were immediately flooded with applicants. I started coresponding with a few candidates this week and there's a wide range of people who've applied. Seriously, I'm surprised at the way some people describe themselves! Spell check is your friend, people. If you can't spell, you won't be able to teach my child to either. Andi and I have gone back and forth with pros and cons to hiring someone younger (who'll be more flexible in scheduling, but less experienced) or someone older (many who are former teachers, but demand more money).  In the end, I think it all depends on the person. We'll know when we meet her, I'm sure.

Since a nanny seems to be the way we're leaning, I'm relieved I won't have to drag Tory outside in the cold this winter and she'll be exposed to fewer germs. I worry, however, she won't get enough social interaction by being home with a nanny all day. I want to find someone who interacts with her, talks to her and teaches her new things. How do I monitor that? I don't know. I'm relieved I'll be home with her 2 days a week and at least I know she's getting that attention when I'm there.

It's so hard letting go and trusting someone else with her care. I know every parent goes through this ... I only wish it were easier!

6 comments:

  1. Daycare is definitely a tough decision, and part time makes it almost harder because it's hard to find places that will accept part timers...

    My blogging friend just wrote a great post on the topic - she also works 3 days a week:
    julia-transition.blogspot.com/2011/10/daycare-options.html

    It's great that a nanny is a feasible option for you! Most are definitely willing to take the kid to story times, music classes, etc, so that should be a-ok.

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  2. Hang in there. Sounds like you've got some good options.

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  3. Are there other families in the area with nannies? Our last nanny in Ukraine had a network of nannies she knew and they got together often with the kids and also had a playgroup that rotated between our houses. Good luck!

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  4. Tough decisions! Being a former nanny, you will find the right one that fits your needs. The family I was with interviewed 8 others before me. She said she knew within the first few minutes of meeting me that I was the right nanny for them! All that to say, you'll know once you meet them and don't feel bad for interviewing lots of candidates. Best wishes!

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  5. I agree you will know when you find the right person/situation. When we were looking for childcare I called 26 places before we found a lady on Craigslist (haha). The minute we walked into her house we knew she was exactly what we were looking for - she is a doula and worked in health care in addition to having many of the same parenting styles as us. You will just know!!

    When I was a nanny I planned a lot of activities with the kids : ) We did art projects and had daily outings to the zoo, Childrens Museum, pool, or park. The kids also did Kindermusic. The family that I worked for was great and gave me an allowance to spend on activities for the kids and had passes to all the area kid attractions!

    Although I love our daycare there are many days that I just want to stay home with Lauren! Monday's are always hard : ) But I figure I have the best of both worlds being a teacher -- I get summer vacation and some time off during the year!

    Wow that was a book!!

    Good luck!!

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  6. I worry/worried a lot about the social interaction aspect of not doing daycare with Allie. I have it pretty good because my mom watches her so I know exactly what they do all day and know she doesn't ignore her and actively engages her constantly...but, I was more worried about interaction with peers. I made sure to enroll her in a couple ECFE classes that we take her to in order to see other kids. I've seen several people in our classes that come with a nanny, so you should be able to do that to at least ensure Tory gets some social stimulation when you're at work. Good luck, I can't even imagine trying to find a daycare or a nanny, ugh!

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