Personally, I wouldn't have felt comfortable implementing sleep training until now because I genuinely believe Tory's little tummy was crying out in hunger. There were times not so many weeks ago she guzzled her milk down at a 3AM feeding and for that reason, I have no issue getting up in the middle of the night with her. Late night feedings are part of parenting.
Recently though, I've come to the realization she's playing games with me. When she cries at night, I go into her nursery and as I approach her crib she smiles and kicks her legs back at me as if she's saying "Hooray! Mommy's here!" I change her diaper and she babbles back and me, wiggling in excitement because she knows what's next. I snuggle her in the rocking chair and as I start to nurse her, she's instantly back to sleep. The little stinker isn't hungry at all, she only wants to be cuddled back to sleep.
And if I'm being completely honest, I don't mind cuddling her to sleep once or twice at night. Especially on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays when I haven't seen her as much as I'd like during the day, it's nice to spend some quiet snuggle time together. Lately though, a once-and-a-while wake-up (usually around Midnight and/or 3AM) has transitioned to every 1-2 hours and I started to realize someone was using Mommy as a clutch.
For the last two weeks, Tory's been putting herself to sleep at nap time so I know she capable of comforting herself. At the first sign of tiredness during the day, I lay her down in her crib and she falls fast to sleep. Sometimes it takes her a few minutes of fussing and sucking on her fingers to get there, but shortly she's off to dreamland. There's no reason she can't do the same in the middle of the night.
So last night, I decided it was time: sleep training time. Andi's working away from home for the next few days and I have the next four days off work; it's the perfect time to nip this in the bud. As tough as it is to listen to Tory fuss, it's even harder on my nerves if I'm also subjecting Andi to the misery. He works so hard and needs his sleep so I know I'll cave to Tory's late-night fussing if he's home with us. It's easier on me if I do it when it's just Tory and I.
Here's how last night went:
7:30PM - 8:00PM
Books, nurse, bedtime. Tory didn't eat very much, despite me trying to rouse her awake to take in a full feeding. She was asleep in her crib by 8:00PM.
11:00PM - 11:30PM
Tory cried from her crib. I let her fuss for a minute but the guilt of baby hunger got to me. Was she crying out because she didn't get a full feeding at 7:30PM? I got up to change and feed her. She hungrily ate and fell back asleep.
2:00AM - 2:05AM
I woke up, checked the time and realized Tory was still sleeping. Nice!
4:00AM - 4:20AM
Tory cried from her crib. I let her fuss for a minute and then decided to go in to change her diaper. As I changed her pants, she tried to eat my shirt-sleeve which made me wonder, was she hungry again? It had been 5 hours since she ate last. I decide to nurse her again. She ate and fell asleep.
6:00AM - 6:45AM
Tory cried from her crib. I decided to let her cry it out. I know she's not hungry now. Forty-five minutes of fussing / silence / pissed-off crying later, she fell back asleep on her own.
8:00AM - 8:10AM
Tory stirs from her crib, but falls back asleep.
9:00AM
Tory's up for the day!
Self-grade rating for CIO Night #1: C Average
My mental notes for tonight:
- Make sure Tory takes in a full feeding at bedtime so I don't second-guess myself whether she's hungry in the middle of the night.
- Aim for a minimum of 5-6 hours of sleep before offering to nurse.
- Try not to change her diaper unless she really needs it.
- Work toward a consistent wake-up time / early morning feeding of 6:00AM (as this is when I need to feed her before I leave for work on Tuesdays / Wednesdays / Thursdays).
We'll see how tonight goes ...
Not that you're looking for any opinions, but maybe try and put her to bed a little earlier. I'm sure that will be a little harder on you, especially the days you work, but if she's falling asleep so quickly it may help in the long run. The later I put Henry to sleep, the worse he sleeps - crazy how it works out! Henry's in bed at 6:45pm and is currently sleeping until 7:30/8 straight!!! It does get better - hang in there!
ReplyDeleteTara- I was actually thinking the same thing. I'm hesitant to do it, you're exactly right, because I would hardly get to see her at night on Tues/Wed/Thurs but it may help. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteIt's your baby I realize but just remember she is only little once and in time she will sleep on her own through the nite. If she is like her mother " she will always have the last word"! She will be teething etc soon don't overlook those needs to be comforted. I know you think we do things the backwards way but I think 45 min is a bit long. How in the world did my 3 children survive! That's is my Question!
ReplyDeleteI truly wish you luck. Tory Bean is a blessing from God.
You are Tory's mommy and know Tory's needs the best do what feels right to you : ) If you feel it is time to sleep train do it! Mom knows best.
ReplyDeleteI will be seeking your help with this for our next one!! I failed with Lauren. I ended up just nursing her in the dark and put her straight back to bed - I skipped the whole pant change thing in the night. It worked for our situation - since she didn't take much of a bottle at daycare and would fall right back to sleep. After I weaned at a year she started sleeping through the night. She was totally playing me and knew what she was doing : ) They are smart little things!!
Sleep training sucks. That's why I haven't done it yet. My baby's older than Tory and sleeps snuggled with me all night... I never slept this well with the other babies. And I love sleeping with my sweet pea!! They grow up too fast and he's my last one. So I hear ya, sounds like Tory's got your number, that giggler!
ReplyDeleteAnother thing? I'm convinced that our night nursing has helped keep my milk going, mostly due to our co--sleeping. Another reason I like it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I truly believe you should do whatever feels right for you and Tory. I hope there are plenty of sleepful nights in the future! Just a note - I agree with the previous poster about putting her to bed earlier. That worked well for us and even now - at 2 1/2 - Allie is still a disaster when she goes to bed too late. Last night, we were at a birthday party with her and didn't get her to bed until after 8. She was up super early this morning. If she goes to bed at 7:15-7:30 (her normal time), she sleeps much better. Seems weird to me, but it has always been that way!
ReplyDeleteI remember my pedi telling me that six months is a good age to know that they aren't hungry anymore in the middle of the night - just wanting mommy. I remember it just happened in stages with them both. The number of times they woke up just decreased until six months came along and then I got more strict about it. I also remember cherishing when going back to work when they got up...sometimes...because it was extra time to sneak in with them to cuddle. But I also remember feeling SO Much healthier and better rested when I got more sleep! It's rough! Hang in there. You're doing great.
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