Parenting: Seven Things I Never Saw Coming

The other day, Tory and I were at the car dealership getting my oil changed and the service employee and I were chatting about kids. He asked Tory's age and how I liked being a mom. He said his wife was expecting their first baby any day and I told him to expect his life to change in the blink of a eye. Parenting is wonderful and exhausting and like nothing else in the whole world. You can't explain it to others no matter how hard you try, and no one will quite understand what it's like until they join the club for themselves.

You expect the sleepless nights and falling head over heels in love with your new bundle of joy the second you lay eyes on them. Lately, I've been thinking about all the things parenting brings that I never saw coming:

Sing, Sing, Sing. On any given day, I sing every kid song I know. Every. Single. One. While we drive, it's the only thing that keeps Tory from falling asleep minutes before we pull in the driveway (thus avoiding the dreaded three-minute car nap) or from screaming bloody murder when we're stuck in traffic on the highway. The other day, I even Googled the words to some long-forgotten tunes because while Tory may not tire of the same "Wheels on the Bus" ditty, I certainly do. Really though, there's nothing that warms my heart more than seeing her smile and clap her hands as I sing "If You're Happy and You Know It" so I'll keep singing every little tune I know.

Reciting Children's Books by Heart. As parents, we read a lot of children's books; and a lot of children's books, over and over again. I can't count the number of conversations I'd had with fellow parents about our favorite kids reads. "Do you read this one? How about this?" Andi's convinced he could write his own children's book based on their simplicity and darn it, aren't some of them just so dang catchy?

Jungle Gym Monkey. The other day, as I was crawling on my hands and knees in the middle of the playground equipment, I wondered to myself, "is this real life?" I'm a 31-year-old grown woman going down the slide with my baby girl on my lap and I couldn't be happier. I envisioned myself going to the park with my future kiddos someday, but I never thought through the part where I'd actually be climbing on the equipment. This is the life of a toddler parent. 

Watching Wheel of Fortune. After Tory was born, I remember sitting in the living room rocking chair at 6:30pm every day, nursing Tory and listening to Wheel of Fortune play on the television in the other room. I wanted to stop that wheel-spinning sound from filling my ears, but the remote was too far out of reach. I was trapped! You'd think I would've learned my lesson, but for months I listened to those annoying people introduce their wonderful spouses and list all of their quirky hobbies. The other day, as Tory and I were playing toys in the living room, I laughed to myself as I heard the theme song Wheel! Of! Fortune! cascade through the house. That annoying show has become part of our life in some strange but comforting, homey-feeling way. I definitely didn't see that one coming.

Poop Tolerance. Andi says his poop tolerance has increased over the year and if I think back, I can remember how gaggy he was in those early days of fatherhood. As a parent, bodily fluids just become part of your everyday life and at some point the nastiest diaper blow-out is no big deal.

Saving Trash. I believe myself to be a sustainably-conscious person. I recycle, buy local and organic and I even had a backyard compost pile for a while. Lately though, I've noticed myself thinking about every single item I throw into the trash can, and not because I'm considering Mother Earth (although, that would be a nice thing for me to do). It's all about turning trash into treasure lately, and the simplest things like an empty milk jug filled with plastic spoons or an old egg carton entertain Tory for hours. What can I make with this? Everything's a learning opportunity and as I parent, I'm constantly stretching my brain for opportunities to teach Tory. Plus, isn't it the truth? A cardboard box or paper towel roll are far more exciting than any expensive, fancy-schmancy toy.

Celebrity Who? I haven't picked up a gossip magazine in months. Well, more like a year. I guess it's no surprise I don't have time to read magazines anymore, but I'm a little shocked by how out-of-touch I am with the entire tv shows / movies / celebrity gossip world these days. There was a time in my life I lived and breathed pop culture. Now, I couldn't even tell you which celebrities just ran off for a secret wedding or who had a baby or what they last ate for lunch. For the first time in 10 years, I asked my mom not to renew my subscription to US Weekly for Christmas because I feel so dang guilty about recycling them un-read every single week.