Tomorrow It Ends + So It Begins

This is happening.

Tomorrow's my last day of work and after that, I'm a stay-at-home-mom. For reals. As in, everyday from now until whenever, I have nowhere else to be but in my house raising my little girl. Which isn't a bad place to be because well, she's pretty awesome.

Sloppy kisses, my favorite.

It's all a bit dizzying, in a good way. Andi was in California for work this weekend so it was just me and Beanie. Friday was a long day thanks to a sleepless Thursday night. Saturday and Sunday were lovely and we kept busy with lots of activities. By today, I had to check my phone a few different times to remind myself it was Monday. Is this how everyday from now on will be? No beginning of the week. No end. Every day is the same as the other, except for the occasional activity to mark a spot on the calendar? I'm not regretting my choice to stay home with Tory - not in the least bit - but I am a bit nervous-tummy about what to expect on the other side of tomorrow.

I know it'll be great. I know it will. There were several times today I stopped in my tracks, present in the moment, and gave thanks for this wonderful life of mine. I am seriously so lucky to be mother to this little girl. She is smart and witty and loving.

One of my favorite memories of today was when I tried to teach Tory to stand on one foot. It always takes me by surprise when I remember babies and toddlers can't do all the things we take for granted everyday. We were being silly in the kitchen and I lifted up one of her legs, showing her how to balance on one foot. Of course she couldn't do it by herself, (she just learned to walk three months ago!) but she belly laughed at the feeling of almost falling over. Such a simple thing, a goofy moment between the two of us, and my heart burst into a million pieces as I realized I get to be with her everyday. I get to be there when she experiences every little piece of life for the very first time.

We played outside in the backyard this afternoon (hello beautiful unseasonably warm Minnesota weather!) and once again, I had one of those surreal moments when I realized just how fun it is to be a kid alongside my daughter. We crunched the leaves underneath our shoes. We climbed through the flowerbed and ran down the small slope in the yard. Over and over again we did this, all while Tory giggled like it was the best moment in her lifetime. She'd stop still and look overhead at the sound of a passing airplane. To be a kid again, where life's simplest moments are observed and appreciated.

I experienced some of those moments as a working mom, but a lot of times my brain was racing from a day of meetings, after-hours emails or text messages or scrambling to put dinner on the table. Sometimes I had a hard time switching my brain from work-mode to mom-mode and therefore, I had a difficult time slowing down to enjoy playing toys or being goofy in the evenings. In one day, I no longer have to chose to be in the moment, I'll be there.